A Wench is a loose (not necessarily literally) yet powerful woman. The Wench is part of a growing sisterhood devoted to torturing men in the nicest of ways.

1. If men require an "adjustment" after kissing you?
2. If your tongue can be registered as a precision surgical instrument?
3. If you have you been accused of smuggling melons across state lines?
4. If you really know what a sponge is for?
5. If "Soak a Bloke" is considered your time off?
6. If you think it's wise to use ice cubes and menthol together?
7. If you know that whipped cream is more than just a dessert topping?
8. If men lose the power of speech when you adjust your bodice or breath deeply?
9. If you are vertically challenged but horizontally gifted?
10.If you like to play with your food?
11.If when removing your bra on Monday, you find enough loose change to buy breakfast?

If you answered any 3 of the questions above with an "oh yeah," then you are obviously a woman of distinction, a product of excellent breeding, possessed of stunning (if not vaguely dubious) talents and appetites
A True Wench should...

1. Remember that all men are created surplus.
2. Be able to procure alcohol or funds at any given moment.
3. Never suffer from an empty cup or have to pay for it.
4. Be proficient enough in neck biting so as to disable at least one (1) whole side of a man's body (without drawing blood).
5. Maintain a repertoire of at least three (3) Dirty Ballads with which to sing for her supper.
6. Be willing and able to prove the authenticity of her hair color anytime, anywhere.
7. When walking, have the flexibility, when wearing a studded hip belt, to put out an eye.
8. Realize that, when lacing a bodice, if she can still breathe, it's not tight enough.
9. Be known to and easily recognized by every Rose Girl and Ale-Keep on a Faire site.
10.Be able to interrupt a scripted scene simply by the way she eats or breathes.
11.Maintain at least the illusion that she can "raise the dead," metaphorically speaking.
12.Be able to cause mustache growth on a 10-year-old Boy Scout with a "wubby."
13.Know how to polish a sword so as to keep resulting patron drool from pitting the steel.
14.Strive to create an interesting pattern in her bodice tan without undue stinging or particular indignity.
15.Have no problem changing her wardrobe in a busy parking lot.
16.Master the technique of removing the whipped cream from a rose without damaging the petals.
17.Know all the right animal noises.
by PoppyK September 24, 2007
Top Definition
a dirty pirate hooker
Diana is a wench.......
by twainlono April 06, 2006
A voluptuous female pirate type woman, usally with a firey attitude, and usually seen around taverns and bars, seaside fishing towns, and wherever pirates roam.
"Argg! That wench be as ugly as a fox!"


"I am a wench. Kiss me."
by Sara Raven May 24, 2004
a beautiful women who engages particularly in duties concerning domestic affairs, kitchen cleaning, or ale serving

the object of a pirate's affection

usually found in sea faring ports, in the back of the kitchen scrubbing pots, passed out under a pirate ship's deck, or tending to the wash.
Yaaar!! Call over the tavern wench. Me ale bucket needs a filling. And while you're there, tell 'er that she should clean out the stain she left on my bed sheets last night. Arrrr!
by shawn April 08, 2005
A stout, voluptuous maiden. Usually associated with the Rennaissance and taverns, where the wench is pictured as a bar-maid, boldly flirting with the swashbucklers and pirates.

Is a softer, less-offending version of bitch.

A mispronunciation of "wrench".
Misspelling in classifieds:

"FOR SALE: 8,500 pound power wench and a queen-size water bed."
by Lorelili March 23, 2005
historically a non-derrogatory word for a woman who was not a lady. thus a waitress in times of yore was a "serving wench." more modernly synonimous with bitch or slut but slightly less ofencive
Call over the one of the kitchen wenches, i must needs have more ale.

Give that back you wench!
by captivus cruor February 20, 2005
Peasant girl. Can also be used as a slightly and less aggresive version of bitch.
"That wench ate my waffles."
"You wench!"
by Kyou January 25, 2005
a slightly less offensive term similar in meaning to "bitch"
"your'e such a fucking wench"
by sholto bonham thomas February 27, 2004
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