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8.
A series about vampires that is guarenteed to make you 25% dumber each time you read it.
Twilight raped my brain.
by bagbird January 09, 2009
 
9.
See shit
Oh that book twilight is shit.
by Chippppp April 09, 2009
 
10.
Everyone seems to refer to Twilight (the people who hate it, that is) as a stupid book for teenie-boppers that makes 13 year old girls brainwashed.
And people say 13 year olds have absolutely no idea whats wrong with Twilight and that they're all stupid and don't know good literature and that the "teenie-boppers" are blind to Bella's Mary-Sueness.
Thats partially true.
1) Fuck you. I'm 13.
2) Bella is a nagging, whiny, Mary Sue who says corny things and needs to stfu already about banging Edward. All she wants is to get some. In Breaking Dawn she DID get some, and got knocked up.
Then she gave birth to the mutant, showoffy, "look at me, I'm one month old and I can speak in proper sentences!" Nessie that Jacob unfortunately has to be the soulmate of.
Edward is boring and wears khaki pants and thinks he can get away with it.
It has no morals or actual point.
The AMAZINGG ending of the AMAZING story?:
Bella becomes a vampire soccermom, Edward finally got laid, Rosalie almost killed Bella with a scalpel (too bad she didnt) and there was absolutely NO AWESOME WAR,
Seriously. I wanted a fucking war. I wanted the Volturi's limbs to be flying everywhere as the Cullens get torn apart in a tangle of Werewolves and sparkly people.
But no. Breaking Dawn was wedding, knocked up, Nessie, the end.
Also, Stephenie Meyer spoils Bella with dresses, amazing weddings, fancy food and pretty much give Stephenie Meyer whatever she wants.
LAME.
I'd write more but I need to go.
Dont give me a thumbsdown, you know its true, fangirls.
Alsooo,
STFU about this "13 year old teenie bopper"s hit.
I'm 13 and I'm not a fucking fangirl.
Twilight is amazing, somehow. I'll never let go of it. Even though I now opened my eyes to its TOTAL SUCKAGE.
Well, with Bella and Edward atleast.
The Volturi are pretty flyyyy.
by myspace.com/missmurder046 September 22, 2008
 
11.
A badly written book by Stephenie Meyer about a sparkling "vampire" *coughfairycough* named Gary-SueCullen who falls in love with a human, Mary-Sue Swan.

Gary-Sue is an abusive, 100 year old virgin stuck in the body of a 17 year old. Mary-Sue is a complete idiot who can't think or do things for herself. Gary-Sue loves Mary-Sue ONLY because of the way she smells. (Time of the mont, amirite?) Mary-Sue only loves Gary-Sue because he's "hot", cold to the touch and his skin is as hard as stone. (Statue fetish, anyone?)

Mary-Sue also falls in love with Pedo Bear the werewolf.

Gary-Sue promises he'll never leave Mary-Sue and that he'll always love her. Then he dumps her and Mary-sue flings herself off a cliff because she's so emo and can't live without her sparklepire boyfriend.

Later on Gary-Sue fucks Mary-Sue so hard it hurts her and gets Mary-Sue pregnant and rips the baby out of Mary-Sue's stomach with his teeth.

Because Pedo Bear could not score with Mary-Sue, he imprints on the infant vampire mutant... demon... thing, making her his future wife. In 7 or so years the baby has the body of an 18 year old and Pedo Bear is happy.
Twitard: Like, OMG! Twilight is so deep and well thought out and the plot is UHMAZING!! It's an UUUUHHHHHMAAAAZZZZIIINNNGGG BUUUUUUKKK!!!!!!!

Normal person: No, Twilight does not have a plot, the writing sucks and it's nothing more than a 35 year old's wet dream of underage fairies.

Twitard: EXCUSE ME? HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS YOU'RE NOT PRETTY LIKE BELLA AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE ANYONE LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN BURN IN HELL, LESBIAN BITCH!
by The lol Bandit May 10, 2009
 
12.
a book which is full of cliches written by Stephanie Meyer. It follows the story of Bella Swan, a stereotypical unpopular girl who cant do anything right and Edward Cullen, the unrealistically good looking vampire who inexplicably falls in love with her. Not only is this book one huge cliche in itself, but it makes every crazed teenage girl delusional about the way guys are supposed to look and act. While these are all annoying and make the book less appealing, Twilight is a disgrace to every work that has included vampires in the past. The vampires in this piece of crap book lack the qualities that make a vampire a vampire. They have almost no weaknesses (except apparently for clumsy, unpopular girls). Holy water, crosses, garlic, stakes , even the sun have no negative effect on vampires (save for the fact that the sun makes their skin sparkle like they're wearing body glitter). Also, vampires are not supposed to have reflections, show up on film, or anything to that effect, but the Twilight vampires have no problem doing so. finally, THEY HAVE NO FANGS. Screw the vampires in Twilight and screw the garbage, cliched storyline behind it.
stupid ass fan: "OMG I JUST BOUGHT THE NEW TWILIGHT BOOK: BREAKING DAWN!!!!! IM GONNA GO LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM UNTIL I FINISH IT B/C I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN SO MUCH!!!"

normal person: Why don't you find a book with an original storyline to read, or at least one that does justice to vampires?
by Gossamer August 04, 2008
 
13.
Twilight is a novel and four book series that claims to be a "saga" for false advertisement. Twilight has no actual plot, it strays from its own cannon that it creates, the main characters are cliché and lack developing personalities, and it is void of any spiritual and intellectual value. It lacks in the 7 literary standards of literature and is thus bad literature. Twilight is basically a cash cow, not uncommon in early 21st century mass media. It is Mormon propaganda that slips in sexist standards of men and women , abstinence only views, and false ideals of love into the underdeveloped minds of adolescent girls. It is the incarnation of Stephanie Meyer's ultimate sexual fantasy.


Twilight is told in the point of view of a "boring" "ordinary" clumsy teenage girl named Bella Swan who moves to Forks. Bella is evidently a bitchy, selfish, shallow self insertion Mary Sue. She has no actual personality flaws and her clumsiness is ostensibly a Moe weakness.

For reasons unexplained to the readers, everyone at her new school likes her on her first day at school and five guys fall in love with her, including Edward Cullen. Edward is a "vegetarian vampire" and sparkles in the sun light. He is perfectly beautiful, has no weaknesses, and is an immortal century old virgin with the appearance of a 17 year old. He is a Gary Stu. Bella and Edward fall in love with each other for reasons unexplained to the readers. Bella apparently loves Edward because she is obsessed with his perfect good looks and Edward apparently loves Bella because she smells good. Thus their entire relationship is based on obsessive sexual attraction. In fact, the whole world of Twilight revolves around their relationship.

Edward is over an abusive controlling stalker that watches Bella in her sleep. Bella excuses Edward actions as being “over protective”. Bella is utterly dependent on Edward, so much that she goes into a chronically depressed and suicidal state when he dumps her.
"Bella got a 90 on the Mary Sue Litmus test. Edward got a 124. Twilight belongs in fanfiction.net."

"Twilight raped vampire lore."

"Twilight is for lonely fat girls who shop at Hot Topic and illiterate rabid fangirls who will pluck your eyes out if you don't agree that Twilight is better than Shakespeare."

"Twilight is shit."
by Teufel Luke December 31, 2008
 
14.
the epitome of stupidity.
holy crap. girls. you are not bella. edward cullen never existed..he never will. you are not a vampire. so get the fuck over it. twilight. lameness.
by megimoo December 03, 2008