8
A book written by Stephanie Meyer.

The majority of the book is dialogue and lacks any use of literary devices and/or elements that truly make a story. With little to no description and two-dimensional characters that are the very definitions of "Mary-sue" and "Gary-stu," this story belongs on fanfiction.net, not in bookstores.

She can't go five minutes without talking about how gorgeous Edward is, and it's clear she's living out some sick, fangirl fantasy and getting money off of it.

It's popularity is only based on the fact that Edward Cullen is supposedly "godly" and the sexiest man alive. He's fictional and practically grey colored. Get over it.

Bella is stupid. She's whiney and clingy, like most Mary-sues. Edward is has no personality. He needs to just bite the stupid girl already and get on with his sparkly-suicidal-vampire life.

Love stories are great, this however, is garbage. The way they fall in love is stupid and shallow and based on looks and lust alone. What kind of message is that?

It's trash. Pure trash.

Please, go take an AP Lit class or pick up a novel by Austen or Hurston and you'll understand...or maybe you won't, Twilight Fans tend to be lacking in brain cells.
Fangirl: OMG EDWARD CULLEN FROM TWILIGHT IS SOOOOO HAWT I WANNA MARRY HIM!
Nonfan: I don't think vampires are supposed to sparkle though....
Fangirl: OMGWTFASLDFJAOSDIHWEONALSDGKLAHDSG!!!! EDWARD IS TEH AWESOMENESS!!!
Nonfan: ...And the book lacks any form or real character development...
Fangirl: OMG EDWARD IS SO HAWT STFU!
Nonfan: Uh...I think I'm going to go call 911...
by cha121 July 24, 2008
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9
1.The time before sunrise and after the sun sets.
2. A book which people won't shut up about.
Almost every single girl I know won't stop reading the fucking thing.
1. It must be about twilight hour.
2. (Irrelevant example for twilight goes here.)
by Unimportant Name November 21, 2008
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10
A book series written by Stephenie Meyer that's captured that heart of gazillions of teenaged girls around the world. It's centered around the romance between Isabella Swan (Bella), the awkward new girl in school, and Edward Cullen, a gorgeous vampire she meets. Although the book is pretty addicting, it has to be the worse book i've ever read in terms of originality, clichés, plot, and writing.

Cliché #1:
The new girl in school who is awkward and clumsy and terrible at everything. How many times have we seen and read this?

Cliché #2:
The new girl falling in love with the hottest guy in school (Edward). No one saw that coming.

Cliché #3:
Despite the new girl's awkwardness and plain looks, the hottest guy in school falls in love with her. The epitome of originality, am I right? *sarcasm*

Cliché #4:
The new girl is hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in school to the point where you want to slap her because she'll do literally everything and anything the hottest guy in school will tell her to do just for him.

Cliché #5:
The vampire (who is the hottest guy in school), despite his love for the new girl, thirsts for her blood and struggles to control his bloodlust. Wow.

Cliché #6:
The vampire is a good vampire who doesn't want to hurt humans, so he feeds off of animals instead. *cough* Louis from Interview with the Vampire *cough*

Cliché #7:
The vampire thinks he's a monster and that the new girl should stay away from him if she values her life, but of course the new girl risks her life to be with him.

Cliché #8:
The new girl would rather die than not be with the vampire, which is the stupidest thing anyone on this Earth can ever say. Yes, I understand she's madly and hopelessly and stupidly in love with him, but you only get one life. She isn't even considerate of the family members she would leave behind who would mourn her death.

There is no plot to the story. It's just a bunch of events that happens between Bella and Edward.

The writing in the beginning is so plain, and even though it does get better, it's still not good.

There's no figuritive language and not much description. The only thing the author seems to describe is Edward's appearence. Every other freaking sentence is talking about this muscular arms or smile or face or eyes or hair. It's like she created this book to produce a bazillion teenaged fangirls who are obsessed with Edward and don't care about the rest of the story. There really is nothing original about this book. Nothing that the author has come up with on her own.

It's pretty much your cliche vampire romance novel.

Despite all this, I still love it because it's addicting, but terrible.

"OMG! Twiligh is the best book in the world! I absolutly heart Edward! He's totally mine!"

"No! He's mine! I read the book first! So he's mine first!"

"We'll split him in half and share him!"

"Wow....if you think Twilight is the best book in the world...then, seriously, no comment."
by samaRAWR December 07, 2007
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11
The worst book to ever grace it's cover onto the world. It has no meaning, no plot or story line, and the only reason people went to see the movie is that the guy who played whatshisface Edward was "SOOO HAWT OMG!!!". To sum the book and movie up, it's a chick flick about a fantasy world that will never exist. If you disagree, go to hell and come back to reality.
Me: What the hell is all this twilight crap about?
Guy 1: I don't know, they're all horny and orgamsic about it.
Fangirl: OMGEEZY, EDWARD IS SO HAWT, I WANT TO RAPE HIM!!!!!
Me: Uhh, go get a life and lose a few pounds, eh?
Guy 2: BURN!!!! Oh, and don't say omgezzy, you sound gay.
Fangirl: *cries* I'M GOING TO EAT UNTIL I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING!!!
Me: You go do that.
by David777 January 20, 2009
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12
that book by stephenie meyer which caused the vampire genre to be classified as a "teenage love-story" instead of "badaas stories of hardcore blood drinkers". teenages girls eat this shit up for some reason.
Teenage Girl:OMG ILOVE TWILIGHT EDWARD IS SO HOT!!!1!!!ONE!!!!11!!!1!
Chuck Norris:*roundhouse kick*
Mr.T:SHUT UP, FOOL!
Kool-Aid Man:OH YEAH!
by ShatteredBomb February 04, 2009
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13
Twilight is a novel and four book series that claims to be a "saga" for false advertisement. Twilight has no actual plot, it strays from its own cannon that it creates, the main characters are cliché and lack developing personalities, and it is void of any spiritual and intellectual value. It lacks in the 7 literary standards of literature and is thus bad literature. Twilight is basically a cash cow, not uncommon in early 21st century mass media. It is Mormon propaganda that slips in sexist standards of men and women , abstinence only views, and false ideals of love into the underdeveloped minds of adolescent girls. It is the incarnation of Stephanie Meyer's ultimate sexual fantasy.


Twilight is told in the point of view of a "boring" "ordinary" clumsy teenage girl named Bella Swan who moves to Forks. Bella is evidently a bitchy, selfish, shallow self insertion Mary Sue. She has no actual personality flaws and her clumsiness is ostensibly a Moe weakness.

For reasons unexplained to the readers, everyone at her new school likes her on her first day at school and five guys fall in love with her, including Edward Cullen. Edward is a "vegetarian vampire" and sparkles in the sun light. He is perfectly beautiful, has no weaknesses, and is an immortal century old virgin with the appearance of a 17 year old. He is a Gary Stu. Bella and Edward fall in love with each other for reasons unexplained to the readers. Bella apparently loves Edward because she is obsessed with his perfect good looks and Edward apparently loves Bella because she smells good. Thus their entire relationship is based on obsessive sexual attraction. In fact, the whole world of Twilight revolves around their relationship.

Edward is over an abusive controlling stalker that watches Bella in her sleep. Bella excuses Edward actions as being “over protective”. Bella is utterly dependent on Edward, so much that she goes into a chronically depressed and suicidal state when he dumps her.
"Bella got a 90 on the Mary Sue Litmus test. Edward got a 124. Twilight belongs in fanfiction.net."

"Twilight raped vampire lore."

"Twilight is for lonely fat girls who shop at Hot Topic and illiterate rabid fangirls who will pluck your eyes out if you don't agree that Twilight is better than Shakespeare."

"Twilight is shit."
by Teufel Luke December 31, 2008
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14
A cliche, overrated, horrid series based on a wet dream of a woman named Stephanie Meyers. A 107 year old virgin vampire (he sparkles!) named Edward falls in love with a clumsy, unattractive girl named Bella, whom many believe to be autistic. He thinks she smells good and watches her sleep. Werewolves and mean vampires try to eat her because she smells just so delicious. But Edward won't eat her because he is a vegetarian! So instead he just randomly grabs her hand out of nowhere and takes a nice big whiff of it. Bella keeps almost dying as various vampires rape, track down, and videotape her. After three nauseatingly awful books, the last one finally comes out where Bella turns into a vampire, Edward gives her a C-section with his teeth, and they have a demon child the vampire mafia wants to destroy. They name in something equally retarded as 'Jasper' or 'Carlisle', some members of Edward's family.

There. I just saved you three weeks of your life you could never get back.
You're welcome.
"Twilight is gay."
"Edward's shiny diamond skin turns me on!"
"I can't live without my perverted old boyfriend."
"I'm danger, stay away."
"I want to eat you."

by Liv Marie February 06, 2009
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