Twilight is told in the point of view of a "boring" "ordinary" clumsy teenage girl named Bella Swan who moves to Forks. Bella is evidently a bitchy, selfish, shallow self insertion Mary Sue. She has no actual personality flaws and her clumsiness is ostensibly a Moe weakness.
For reasons unexplained to the readers, everyone at her new school likes her on her first day at school and five guys fall in love with her, including Edward Cullen. Edward is a "vegetarian vampire" and sparkles in the sun light. He is perfectly beautiful, has no weaknesses, and is an immortal century old virgin with the appearance of a 17 year old. He is a Gary Stu. Bella and Edward fall in love with each other for reasons unexplained to the readers. Bella apparently loves Edward because she is obsessed with his perfect good looks and Edward apparently loves Bella because she smells good. Thus their entire relationship is based on obsessive sexual attraction. In fact, the whole world of Twilight revolves around their relationship.
Edward is over an abusive controlling stalker that watches Bella in her sleep. Bella excuses Edward actions as being “over protective”. Bella is utterly dependent on Edward, so much that she goes into a chronically depressed and suicidal state when he dumps her.
"Twilight raped vampire lore."
"Twilight is for lonely fat girls who shop at Hot Topic and illiterate rabid fangirls who will pluck your eyes out if you don't agree that Twilight is better than Shakespeare."
"Twilight is shit."
normal person: Why don't you find a book with an original storyline to read, or at least one that does justice to vampires?
1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
How dare you? Edward is in that!!
Guy 1: I don't know, they're all horny and orgamsic about it.
Fangirl: OMGEEZY, EDWARD IS SO HAWT, I WANT TO RAPE HIM!!!!!
Me: Uhh, go get a life and lose a few pounds, eh?
Guy 2: BURN!!!! Oh, and don't say omgezzy, you sound gay.
Fangirl: *cries* I'M GOING TO EAT UNTIL I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING!!!
Me: You go do that.
There. I just saved you three weeks of your life you could never get back.
"Edward's shiny diamond skin turns me on!"
"I can't live without my perverted old boyfriend."
"I'm danger, stay away."
"I want to eat you."