A totally cliche book that wasted a million of trees and has millions of readers hooked on it because of the gorgeous character Edward even though Jasper is better than him.

1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
Oh my god! Don't you just love Twilight?


How dare you? Edward is in that!!
by Kira Kira September 22, 2008
A book that Is given way to much credit. People compare it to books like Harry Potter, and thats not right> Harry Potter is wayyyy better. Twilight sucks... end of story!
I hate Twilight... its the worst book of the century.
by LpaulineW August 18, 2008
The worst book to ever grace it's cover onto the world. It has no meaning, no plot or story line, and the only reason people went to see the movie is that the guy who played whatshisface Edward was "SOOO HAWT OMG!!!". To sum the book and movie up, it's a chick flick about a fantasy world that will never exist. If you disagree, go to hell and come back to reality.
Me: What the hell is all this twilight crap about?
Guy 1: I don't know, they're all horny and orgamsic about it.
Me: Uhh, go get a life and lose a few pounds, eh?
Guy 2: BURN!!!! Oh, and don't say omgezzy, you sound gay.
Me: You go do that.
by David777 January 20, 2009
A cliche, overrated, horrid series based on a wet dream of a woman named Stephanie Meyers. A 107 year old virgin vampire (he sparkles!) named Edward falls in love with a clumsy, unattractive girl named Bella, whom many believe to be autistic. He thinks she smells good and watches her sleep. Werewolves and mean vampires try to eat her because she smells just so delicious. But Edward won't eat her because he is a vegetarian! So instead he just randomly grabs her hand out of nowhere and takes a nice big whiff of it. Bella keeps almost dying as various vampires rape, track down, and videotape her. After three nauseatingly awful books, the last one finally comes out where Bella turns into a vampire, Edward gives her a C-section with his teeth, and they have a demon child the vampire mafia wants to destroy. They name in something equally retarded as 'Jasper' or 'Carlisle', some members of Edward's family.

There. I just saved you three weeks of your life you could never get back.
You're welcome.
"Twilight is gay."
"Edward's shiny diamond skin turns me on!"
"I can't live without my perverted old boyfriend."
"I'm danger, stay away."
"I want to eat you."

by Liv Marie February 06, 2009
"Absolute trash, so obviously a worldwide hit."

"That book is a cringe-worthy testament to teenage hormonal fabrication."

-- quotes from Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (the fifth book in a series truly worthy of reading) that perfectly defines Twilight.

Chocolate is to delectable as Twilight is to rubbish.
by Kalanikamori August 17, 2009
A damn boring book that somehow in many mysterious ways that not even God can explain, managed to capture the hearts of girls all over the world that consider it a good book which is explainable due to the fact that most if not all, didn’t actually put their hands on a decent book with a solid plot and characters with strong personalities.
Since most of teens don’t bother with reading but when they do their homework, newspaper or spend time on the internet they haven’t the slightest idea of the true meaning of a book, literature is a word too complex already and just worship this twilight thing after being brainwashed due to its poor writing and imagination.
Twilight is the wild dream of a 30 something ears old woman that doesn’t seem to happy about her current marriage and decided to act like an everyday teenage girl obsessed with different dude and having strange fantasies with vampire dudes.
The book is just painful to read, the writing and the cliché just makes it impossible to hold it and keep reading it. It’s all cliché, cliché and again cliché which doesn’t stimulate at all you imagination but rather lets you predict the rest of the story because it’s cliché and predictable. The first time I tried to read it I already knew how it would finish and as I was getting to the end in great pain barely being able to endure it…it was just as I’ve foreseen.
Bella as a character is actually the author (if we can call her that), the typical Mary Sue from across the street that everyone loves to hate. She’s there just to be there and as an excuse to write and publish the book. She’s the typical new girl that you just want to stab her gazillions of time at how pathetic, useless and whiny she is. Boys are mysteriously attracted to her just like flies to…but she says no, just like the good virgin girl that she is.
Edward is The Dude, the Gary Stu Dude, the guy the author wanted to marry but ended up with the current man she took as a husband. And Edward as The Dude is the dream guy of every fangirl that’s the same of the geek living in the basement; none of these two ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend. The dude when he sees Bella, no doubt the only virgin in town since he was lusting for her blood, which was pure and not infected like the rest of the dudettes, fall in love, desperately in love…because the author wants so.
In all, it’s a slushy book destined for illiterate persons with a limited ability to be able to think and use imagination. The author no doubt had an account on quizilla and read tones of other poor fictions…that place was her source of inspiration, no doubt of it.
Ex 1
Dudette: Did you read Twilight? It’s like OMG, Edward is so cool, it’s the best book in this entire world.
Random guy: Huh?
Dudette: What? You didn’t hear of it? You’re so lame, I wouldn’t want to be you, don’t you read?
Random guy: Huh?
Dudette: Get away from me!
Random guy: Whatever! *continues to read Ender’s game.”
Ex 2
Dudette: Edward is so HAWT followed by this <3333 <333 or this EEEEE or AAAAA then faints.
Another random guy: ???????
Ex 3
Bella: Oh Edward make me a vampire! Why don’t you make me one!? Don’t you love me? If you love me make me a vampire…please I beg of you, waaaaa *crawls at his feet*
Edward: No Bella, I won’t make you one. You’re too pure too innocent to be one. You’re the epitome of perfection in this awfully dull cloudy town. I won’t make you one!
Jacob: I’ll make you a werewolf Bella if you want.
Bella & Edward: You bad dog! *hits him with a rolled newspaper*
Bella: Edward, you masochistic bastard! Do you want to see me age and turn like a prune?
Edward: Yes Bella!
Bella: Edward you monster! I want you to turn me now in a vampire, I want to go out and conquer the world…I want to become immortal and enslave everyone with my mary-sueish beauty and personality…muha ha ha ha
by Pomponette August 27, 2008

-The Twilight "saga" is adored by many people (mostly young females) who equate these poorly-written, unimaginative novels with deep literature because of their confusion due to the onset of puberty and their budding sexuality. The worst part is, the story/writing is so unbelievably bad that you're compelled to continue reading in the hopes that it will get better. It doesn't. It's like a car wreck or a scab, you just can't turn away or stop picking at it.

Actual text from Twilight: "Softly he brushed my cheek, then held my face between his marble hands. 'Be very still,' he whispered, as if I wasn't already frozen. Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat."

Really, Stephanie? REALLY?
by sistershotgun August 14, 2008
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