The tuba, designed by gods, and blessed by chuck norris himself!!!!!! If you find a better instrument, you are high on crack! It is a regal instrument that is played by very beautiful, talented people.
dude, i got to try a tuba and i almost orgasmed when i heard it. it sounded like a "wherrrrrprprrrprprrrrp!!"
by zechman August 07, 2007
the last major instrument to be introduced to the modern symphony orchestra; a refinement of all others that preceded it, having a conical bore, large cup mouthpiece, and low, unpiercing mellow sound, unless some of the guys from the tuba section of the marching band at the Univesity of Southern California have a blow on one (or 16). May be upright, with a recording bell (this is a "recording bass," not a "recording tuba"--it replaced string basses on early recordings), helicon, sousaphone, or a silly marching version. I have played them all!
(from the latin tuba, meaning trumpet)

The proper name for a tuba player is "tubist," which is a shortened form of "tubaist," which is considered archaic. (Ask your local professional tuba player for details.)
Didn't Gene Pokorny play a great tuba solo in Petrouchka tonight?
by LoyalTubist June 01, 2004
the lowest-pitced member of the orchestral brass instrument family. It is considered a low brass instrument along with the baritone and trombone. It often is the root of chords and plays the familiar "oompah" in marches. Is extremely underappreciated by composers and has a solo library vastly made up of pieces that were originally written for another instrument. Tubists, people that play the tuba, are often stereotyped as large hairy German men who like to drink and the majority of IM icons about the tuba are for girls who play the tuba, which is total BS to the male teen tuba player.
The tuba can be a very melodic instrument. No, really. Stop laughing.
by tehTubaPlayer December 26, 2007
(In islam) A beautiful and nurturing tree in heaven, which gives milk and shelter, along with food, to children who pass away at a young age. Individuals with this name are known to be very caring, nurturing, sweet, and giving people.
Children who pass away at a young age, are are cared for by Tuba.
by islamoholic August 16, 2011
The Greatest instrument known to man. In the heirarchy of life:
1. Chuck Norris.
2. Tuba Players. (The Tuba itself was invented by chuck norris.)
3. God.
4. every one else.
Common band-speak: "Man I wish i could play tuba." Tuba: "Damn straight bitch!"
Also note the tuba motto: "Bitch we're the boss!"
by tubagod300 August 31, 2008
The Sexiest instrument of and the greatest union EVER

The
Union of
Bad
Asses
Tuba player: man i have the best instrument BITCH
Band geek: I can do my Eb scale on trumpet but i wish i played tuba
Tuba Player: Its Cause we're sexy!
by TubaPower July 12, 2009
A low pitched intrument made for the bassline of a band. With out a good bassline the entire band would fall apart making tubas a main need for bands. Ive also included the following definitions
The case is perfect for hiding dead bodies
The instrument is perfect for ramming someone against a wall and beating the shit out of them litterally..
Bob: YOU FUCKING KILLED OUR WAITER WITH A GOD DAMN TUBA!
Tod: He came at me with a knife.
Bob: YOU ORDERED THE STEAK!
Tod: Thats... Not an excuse.
by theinvisibleman December 16, 2012

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