A time-capsule, buried in the 1960s and recently unearthed on the southern shore of Lake Ontario.
Archaeologist #1: "We opened up that city-sized time capsule that we found on the shore earlier this week."

Archaeologist #2: "High five. What was in it?"

Archaeologist #1: "Lots and lots and lots and lots of people with plaid shirts, super-tight jeans, thick-rimmed glasses, and bow ties, all listening to grating three-chord music. 1960s stuff, basically."

Archaeologist #2: "Ohhhhh. That's Toronto you found. It was probably just buried in snow. Not a time capsule. And those 1960s relics are just hipsters."

Archaeologist #1: "Shit. My bad."
by hipster_of_the_month November 30, 2012
Toronto (or Turanna, as its inhabitants call it) is a decent city with mainly decent friendly people, that has some residents who think it is better than it is, even believing it to be an amazing cosmopolitan experience and a world class city; these Torontonians obviously haven't traveled much.

Many Canadians from outside southern Ontario hate the city because its "too American" or because we have too much pollution and crime, although for a city our size the crime actually isn't too bad, although I will agree there is too much air pollution during the summer. And while some Torontonians have a bloated ego about their city, overall we are still decent folk, despite what some other Canadians like to tell themselves about us.

Our sports teams suck, but Toronto is the largest concentration of hockey lovers in the world, even though the home team is shit.

The main problem with the city is the endless sprawl, and some parts are actually kind of ugly, and the city could use some beautification. If these problems, along with transportation and pollution, are cleaned up in the next 20 years, as well as reduced housing costs, Toronto could be a really cool city. Theres lots to do and see in Toronto, the people are friendly, and its my beloved home.
Canadian A: "Hey have you been Toronto?"

Canadian B: "I bet it sucks."

Canadian A: "Nah...it was alright."
by DDave August 15, 2007
How the hell does some guy get off defending our city by comparing it to Detroit??? And no, our subways are not clean, they look like crappy versions of the ones in NYC, but filled with angry persian women and brown kids trying to act black. I see people everywhere pretending to be sophisticated like them New Yorkers, which may be tolerable if they didn't look so constipated and uptight. The government here is just as unoriginal.. while Portland and San Fran are already densifying their metros like Vancouver, the arrogant gas-bags in city council are busy building a big ugly sprawl the size of New York with less than 1/4 of the population. Such backwards mindset over here; I'd move to Vancouver in an instant if a house there didn't cost $750,000.
We need some original people here to help Toronto out.
by Marissa L December 01, 2006
Massive and poorly planned sprawl somewhere on the shores of lake Ontario. Dunno which dimwit decided to start a settlement in that flat wasteland (at least Calgary and Edmonton have their money-making oil fields).

Otherwise a pretty clean city, streets are well kept, freeway and transit system are efficient. Got some nice neat-looking suburbs, but if you're from someplace awesome like Vancouver, you'd think it's a dump cuz it's all brick...then again what other material will protect you from "freezing flesh" warnings common throughout half the year. Oh, every single house looks exactly the same; there's only one style throughout the entire metropolitan region. Entire golden horseshoe area is developed with highrises randomly popping up here and there; can never tell when you're leaving one city and entering the next.

Locals like to dress up fancy and act sophisticated, to remind themselves that they're the centre of the universe. Maybe it's the bad climate, or they just don't get out much, but compared to Vancouverites or Montrealers, Torontonians are an unattractive people, like that brown hairy female news anchor on CityTV they threw in just to prove how multicultural they are. City itself tries to imitate New York, and fails miserably.

Don't get me started on architecture...it's embarrassing; downtown is built in the 60's so not their fault there...but in the suburbs like Scarborough and Mississauga, they have gay pointy Chryler Buildingesque spires on their residential towers, just to make it look architectural. Pathetic...nothing's original.

But if you just want to work and make some money for now and then move to Vancouver when you're rich, Toronto's the place to go. Housing is cheaper than Vancouver by a lot, and so is everything else. Essentially it's a nice city that provides you with everything you need, although not necessarily what you want.

Just don't forget your snowboots, gloves, shovels, matches and signal flares when you go out.
"Half my friends left Toronto and moved to Vancouver"
by bill_y September 03, 2006
I can't argue that Toronto is a large city with a lot of venues and establishments to offer. I don't contest the fact that the Toronto Stock Exchange is world class and that the city has plently of world class art and theater attractions. Hell it even has a wannabe times square outside of the Eaton shopping mall.

Having said that, Toronto is different from a World Class city and maybe my equation will help you to see how.

World Class City like New York or London - having a subway out to the airport - having any sense of what nice architecture is like Paris or Boston - having a public Lakefront like Chicago - ever having the Olympics - having beautiful women all over the place like Los Angeles or Montreal - sports franchises that can keep up with American teams + an aids infested gay community like San Francisco + tonnes of homeless people like New Dehli + heroin junkies and worthless runaways of New York City + the ego of Nazi Germany + the scummy air of Mexico City + Violent Jamaicans like in Kingston + the terrorist sleeper cells like Afghanasthan = Toronto

Woah thats a lot of math but I checked in the back of the text book and this is all true.

I live in Northern Ohio and I have been to just about every major in North America and every time I go to Toronto for a ball game or something, I look at the people and think to my self, "I am so proud that I am not one of them".
Torontonian with head up his ass: Hey ya hoser. The Women of Toronto are the hottest in the world eh!

Person who goes to an American University: Mmm. Well if you like hippies, suicidal runaways, annorexic/starving junkies, women that are out of shape, and otherwise good looking women with fucked up ethnic noses, than ya. I'd say you struck gold.
Announcer at Sky Dome: Get on your feet Blue Jay fans and show some civic pride. We are Toronto. We are world class. Lets show the world what were made of.

Cleveland Indians fan: Well thats nice. I don't remember hearing how top notch Ney York City was at Yankee Stadium. I guess New York isn't as good as Toronto.
by Roger Bell September 24, 2006
Sorry kids, Toronto may be the biggest city you've ever been to, but it's metro area is still smaller than the following American cities:
New York
San Francisco
Los Angeles
Aw, not quite a dozen like the other guy said, but oh well.
Torontonians consist of metrosexuals and fat brown chicks.
by billybobbb September 21, 2006
Polluted, overpopulated, crime ridden, disgusting excuse of a city. If you enjoy stress, sky high rent, mean ugly people, big women, getting shot at while shopping, breathing problems, allergies and shortening your life significantly then feel free to move to this shithole.
I went to Toronto, i love Alberta even more now.
by John555 May 24, 2006

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