A house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top-decking after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
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Verb: "to top deck".

To "top deck" is to defocate into the cistern of a toilet. The cistern is the water-filled tank often found above the toilet seat, near the flushing handle. Once the cistern has been defiled with faeces, the toilet will begin to flush "shitty" water of a brown, slimy appearance. This not only leaves the victim with a very nasty clean-up job, but more importantly it represents an extreme hatred or humiliation for them.

The art of topdecking is something commonly joked about but very infrequently practised. It is a rare and extreme example of domestic terrorism, often done as a form of revenge or simply to cause gross inconvenience to the victim.
"Hey, give that back or I'll top deck in your toilet!"

"Man, I'd love to top deck Oxford University..."
by Top Decker January 1, 2006
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1: Used as a term for luck in obtaining a certain card to keep you alive or to win the game.
- Originating in Magic the Gathering
Charlie is a lucky muther fucker. He top decked a thoughtcast and then double shrapnel blasted me for the win... wat a Top Decker.
by Mr. Morgan Freeman October 27, 2004
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v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one's host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie were invited round by the Browns to congratulate Gordon on his appointment as Prime Minister. Cherie was furious because she never liked Gordon and wanted her Tony to stay on another 10 years. She said to herself : “I know, I'll fix 'em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.
by bromp May 15, 2008
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Verb meaning to lift the lid off a toilet cistern and subsequently crap inside. Your shit will go undetected for months, except that each time someone flushes the smell will be released. It gets worse with every pull of the chain as the festering turd decomposes. Try top decking your enemies - it's the gift that keeps on giving.
I hate that jerk! Next time I'm round his house I'm gonna top deck his m*therf*ckin' toilet
by AnthonyH May 10, 2012
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Bringing A girl home and having both you and your flatmate have a go. There are further requirements to be classed topdeck;

1.1-Both resedents must be on the top story
1.2-Residents are classfied as a top deck crew (one white one brown)
1.3-The deed must be shared roughly at a 50 50 ratio (performance dependant)

If all these criteria are met you have sucessfully top decked someone. ANd if you were on the other end of the stick(s) you have been top decked.

*Top deck came from cadbury chocolate, half milk half white.
Me and clements just top decked this chick in the weekend, what did you do?
by MrRhodes August 15, 2011
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