15
A shitacular store that tries to be the "Wal-Mart that never was", ie. "GREAT PRICES FOR GREAT FASHIONS". In other words 6 year old kids in Sri Lanka make ugly sweaters, then Target buys them for 10 cents and goes ahead and sells it under *insert famous clothing designer here* for $40.

Working there is HELL, you are forced to wear red shirts and khaki pants or skirts, call customers "guests" (if you don't you get written up), and every morning there are "huddles" (a stupid cutesy name for the word "boring meeting") where you stand around and they tell you "YESTERDAY WE MADE 100,000 DOLLARS AHAHAHA AND YOU'RE ONLY MAKING 6.50 AN HOUR FOR DOING ALL THE WORK US HIGHER UPS DON'T WANT TO DO". The store manager is NEVER there, and they are ALWAYS on vacation. Overtime is a no-no, and if you do one minute of overtime they have a hissy-fit and poop their pants over it.

There is also a stupid line EVERY "team member" (another cutesy fuckin' name for TARGET SLAVE) has to ask every "guest", and that is "CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING?". First off, most customers HATE being asked if they need help, secondly it's gramatically incorrect, and thirdly if you don't ask it and your GSTL/ETL/TL (stupid names for fuckin supervisors) catch you NOT saying it you get reprimanded.

Target gives their "team members" a discount that is a measly 10% off. Target's items are too expensive and you might as well walk your lazy butt to Wal-Mart and buy it for 3 bucks less.
Target Team Member Jonny: "Can I help you find something?"
Crabby overtly obese guest on cellphone: (in bitchy voice): "NO. WHERE ARE YOUR CHEETOS??!!"
Target Team Member Jonny: "Aisle G38"
Crabby Overtly Obese Guest on Cellphone: *grunts* "WALMART'S HEMORRHOID CREAM IS CHEAPER IM GOING TO WALMART *grunts again and farts*

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16
A store designed by a group of idiots who are apparently infatuated with the color red & live by the motto "Fast, Fun, & Friendly".
Employees don't know each other's names unless they read nametags, yet they are considered to be "Team Members".

Turning 18 means nothing to Target if you're still in high school- except that now you are eligible to get a Goddamn motherfucking Red Card & save an additional fucking 10%. No, you can't work more hours during the week. Minors may NOT exceed 3 hours & 45 minutes Monday-Friday or else one of the LOD's, or HR, will have a talk with you about legalities. (you're supposed to care)

GSTL's make people feel smart since they are by far the dumbest people in the world.
People in food are disgusting
LOD's get to talk at the morning, midday, & evening huddles. This makes them important.
The boys in electronics think they are studly & whoever has the keys to the X-Box games is really cool.
The operator is always a half-wit broad who doodles her boyfriend's name in between phone calls.
Guest Attendants.. (AKA CART BOYS) are stoners who just need some fresh air & free water.
AP/Hardlines 4 is a group of men who are either rent-a-cops, wannabe po-po's, or ex-security guards from some unknown company. Sometimes if you get lucky, you'll get an AP team leader (yup, leader, it's religious) who used to be in the army. Apparently shooting towel heads is comparable to catching people steal Modern Home towels?

Target team members need to understand that breaks are 15 minutes, NOT 16 & lunch breaks are 45 minutes, not 44. Another legality.(pretend to care)
Employees are not allowed to call in sick without being talked about.
EMPLOYEES ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN TO DRINK WATER OR ANY OTHER BEVERAGE ON THE JOB UNLESS THEY HAVE A DOCTOR'S NOTE.

Customers are referred to as "Guests" & are the rudest people in the world. They leave their carts everywhere in the store & will whine until Guest Service calls every local Target in search of their Mossimo sweater.

THE ACTORS IN THE TARGET COMMERCIALS WILL BE GETTING PAID MORE THAN YOU DO FOR JUST SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES WITH AN UGLY DOG NAMED SPOT.. WHILE YOU MUST MEMORIZE CODE RED, GREEN, YELLOW. HOW'S YOUR SISTER L.I.S.A? HOW IS B.O.B DOING?

If you work at Target you are brainwashed to believe you are above Wal Mart & if you go within 1 mile of a Wal Mart you eye should start twitching. If it doesn't then you need to spend some more time reviewing the employee handbook.
My back hurts, my head is throbbing, my feet are numb, and I want to know if anyone needs a carryout or help fidning something. I've obviously been working at Target too long.
by Bri! February 02, 2007
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17
A glib term used by submariners to describe all other ships that merely float on the surface of the water.
Submariner: What do you call the boats in the Pacific Navy fleet that are about to head out to sea?

Master Chief: Targets.
by The Troll August 04, 2005
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18
Department store like wal-mart only the target employees wear red shirts and kaki pants instead of blue shirts. Your job gets changed everyday and you have to stay longer than your scheduled. Its a place where store managers and lods stare at you when your doing something wrong and then tell your team lead what you did wrong. Then the team lead comes to you and tells you. It just plain stupid. Stupid ass days such as green shirt day and birthday cake day. Stupid ass tuck your shirt in rules. It sux.
LOD "Hey guys try to get all the reshop done by 11 so that I can go home."
Employee "Sure can I go on my 15 now."
LOD "No, you didn't finish the reshop."
Employee "SHit."
by team member April 16, 2005
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19
The place people will easily go to avoid Walmart. A major retailer headquartered in Minnesota and known for its high quality products unlike Walmart or Kmart, but treat their hourly employees like yesterday’s garbage. Their stores are cleaner, the employees seem at least half decent and many of their products are made in the U.S., unlike Walmart where they are made in Communist China.

The bad outweighs the good, however. The employees are paid minmum wage and treated like second class citizens. Employees are brainwashed into using cutsie names for customers i.e. “guests” and coworkers "team members" and trained into asking any guest, “Can I help you find something?” What crap. NOTE TO MANAGEMENT: YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY HAD YOUR MAID DO YOUR SHOPPING FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE CUSTOMER BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE BOTHERED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW THE EMPLOYEE YOU HIRED AND 'TRAINED' IS BEING FORCED TO ASK THE QUESTION WITH A FAKE SMILE ON THEIR FACE. YOU SUCK. GO GET A A COLLEGE DEGREE TO GET REAL KNOWLEDGE AND REAL SKILLS TO GET A REAL CAREER AND YOU WILL LEARN WHAT REAL BUSINESS IS. HOW YOU TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES AFFECTS HOW THEY TREAT YOUR SO-CALLED ‘GUESTS.’ Management treats their lower paid employees like slaves and expendable goods. Working overtime is discouraged (as if employees don’t have bills to pay) and not asking a “guest” for assistance results in being written-up and reprimanded like you are a kid. Target is one of those companies where its overpaid fatcats have not yet caught on that the treatment of their employees will have an effect on how they treat the “guests.” It’s simple economics, and I’m not even an Econ major and know that. The funniest thing about this out-of-touch corporation is that it hires 6-feet, 200 pound security guards. For what? Are they actually afraid someone will walk off with a $2 bottle of shampoo? Target management and its corporate bigwigs need to get over themselves, because it’s not like they have job skills that would require getting a real career.

Target management sucks, just like evry other company out there.
by krock1dk December 29, 2007
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20
A more upscale version of Walmart. Thoroughly evil, it is run by people who are absolutely obsessed with getting more and more people to sign up for the Target VISA.

See Red & Khaki Hell
For the last time, I don't want a Target VISA.
by Ride the Bomb January 23, 2004
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21
A company where the bitchy "guests" are treated like gods and the hard working "leaders" are treated like shit. (Like a religious cult. "Leaders".)
When you work at Target you must understand that breaks are 15 minutes, not 14 minutes.
Honestly, it's common sense.
You must also understand that there is NO overtime.
Target employee: Hurhurhur I'm so cool I work in the games department and get to hold the keys that unlock the Wii games!!!!
Ex Target employee: You've been brainwashed by Satan's... err I mean Target's shittiness.
by JonasBrothersAreMyLifeSTFU August 24, 2009
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