I don't kick sideways; I kick forward. 

I don't kick sideways; I kick forward is a meaningless answer Nikki Haley used continuously when asked to differentiate herself from her former boss Donald Trump during her presidential announcement press junkets.

This statement has no meaning and is a complete evasion of questions that were directly asked. The next time my wife asks me which one of her friends in the most attractive I’m going to say:

“I don’t kick sideways; I kick forward”.

It almost sounds like you are glibly answering the question.

Almost.

This is how you use “ I don't kick sideways; I kick forward.” as a conversational tactic:

Wife: Which one of my friends do you find the most attractive.

Husband: I don’t kick sideways; I kick forward.

I don't kick sideways; I kick forward. by Mind Hunter the Profiler February 16, 2023

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers 

A woman who meets an attractiveness threshold above which you would easily forgive minor transgressions such as eating crackers and leaving the inevitable crumbs in your bed.

The British version "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting", while similar in spirit, lacks some of the subtlety of this version.

Lindsay Lohan might have a little nose candy problem, but still, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers by MC Gee January 23, 2008

You wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating cheesy doritos 

A way of emphasising when a woman is increidbly attractive as cheesy doritos not only leave crumbs but also stink up the place.

Jessica Alba you wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating cheesy doritos

You wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating cheesy doritos by Elburno January 27, 2008

don't kick yer coon dog 

Colloqialism from the American South, literally means don't bit the hand that feeds you.

BILLY: God damn, woman! Old man Winter's makin' me work on the weekend ho'ing his damn soil!
SUSIE: Well is he payin' you that there overtime?
BILLY: Yeah. So?
SUSIE: So shut yer trap and put on yer work boots for an extra day's pay! We need to get little Billy new shoes and our roof busted a hole again!
BILLY: Aw, Susie-
SUSIE: I said shut it! Don't kick yer coon dog!

don't kick yer coon dog by HelenHar July 22, 2008

i wouldn't kick her out of the bed for shitein

a declaration of true love

shes a ride i wouldn't kick her out of the bed for shitein

i wouldn't kick her out of the bed for shitein by redshank January 27, 2008

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers 

a song by the band KillWhitneyDead

did you hear that song "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers?" ; KillWhitneyDead is the best band ever!

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers by Princess Peach ™ February 7, 2008

well ain’t that a kick in the head 

When something happens that is surprising, or something that makes you reassure or realize something.

Jerald: hey, did you hear that Jim broke up with terry for a nice looking bagel?
John: well ain’t that a kick in the head!

well ain’t that a kick in the head by Enclave••• November 11, 2017