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28.
1) A way to prevent yourself from drowning, at least until the shark gets you.

2) A sport that gets guys ripped, girls fit, and both tan, it's the sexiest sport around. In addition, it's really easy to use as a metaphor for sex. Downsides: looking great, having too many people want to screw you, too loud of a crowd, all the groupies... Real Downsides: If you're a guy, it looks almost as gay as water polo. Try not to get an erection the speedo doesn't really hide much, including how big you are... You have to be in the water by 5 a.m. during season. Like drowning, it takes a LOT of energy. If you don't use lotion, you will get sunburned until you get tanned, also you might have cancer. It damages your hair, which oddly enough makes it look thick and awesome and sunbleached for guys, but girls might not like what happens to them. Unless you lose yourself, it can be really really boring because you just go there and back again, the trick is losing yourself in other stuff, not thinking, or thinking about how the water feels and if your stroke can be improved. This is similar to what you do in other sports, which are after all basically moving from point to point; what matters in any sport is not what you're doing, it's how you do it.

3) One of the only two sports that get girls wet and half-naked.
1) {Theme music from Jaws can be heard, a buoy bobs in center-field.}
{enter head surrounded by white splashes} "This is the second to last buoy! One more and I can go home knowing I've strengthened my body and helped myself live a few more years," thinks the swimmer.
{Enter a grey fin cutting through the water behind the swimmer} "I sense a disturbance in the Force!" the shark metaphorically thinks, "I must devour the delicious seal and maintain the balance of nature!" {Chomp. Blood. Foam.} "FUCK!" screams the swimmer, "THE FUCKING SHARK BIT OFF MY LEGS! FUCK YOU NATURE!" {drowns}
"Damn that seal tasted fucking disgusting, too much irony methinks." the shark thinks.
2) {The setting is a pool surrounded by greyish concrete, inside is around a hundred swimmers, going back and forth, back and forth, mindlessly, while a coach sits there, bored but alert.} "Damn this shit is getting old, it's all the same: back and forth, do those fucking flip turns at each end which gets water in my goggles and up my nose. Swerve into the lane-lines on backstroke, hit other people with butterfly, barely move with breaststroke, and be held back by the lazy assholes in front of me when I do freestyle," one thinks to himself, "But hey, look, I'm ripped and tan and I have pretty awesome hair {admires self}. And by Damn are those chicks hot, all tan and wet and... DAMN!"
3) Go to a pool when people are swimming or playing water polo, as long as there are girls. Sit, watch, take pictures.
by Spencer Phillips May 06, 2011
 
1.
a way to stop from drowning
My boat sunk, so i started to swim
by Stu August 22, 2003
 
2.
The hardest sport you could do. the best sport ever, and keeps you in shape.
If swimming were any easier it would be called football.
by Nicole March 29, 2005
 
3.
swimming a tiring sport. however statistics show that female swimmers have the most sexually active lifestyle. Go us!
OMG i have have swimming in an hour! and i dotn wanna go becuase im lazy!
by Elly O June 01, 2004
 
4.
A highly unrecognized sport which requires one to be up at absurd hours of the day and in the pool multiple times during the day. The season lasts all year (12 months) for real swimmers. It makes the women look like men and the men look really hot, even when they shave their legs. The highest occurency rate of OCD, swimming is also known as "wall tagging."
~"Ew something smells like chlorine!!"
~"That's me, I had practice today at 4:30 am. But I have to go, I have practice again in 15 minutes. I have no life."
by guesswho March 30, 2005
 
5.
best sport in the world
by Anonymous May 31, 2003
 
6.
Swimming is life. The best sport for you. Swimming is the only sport that is good for everybody, no matter the age or physical activity: the only sport that does not put too much pressure on bones and joints (cycling comes close). The only risk of injury in swimming is some sort of tendinitis, like rotater cuff, or cutting hands and fingers on lane lines.

Competitive swimming can get any person into shape, and give you ripped arms, legs, and abs. And we get all the girls. Swimming is the only sport that can force people out of a room because the cheering is too loud and intense, the only sport where guys in speedos is considered hot, and the only sport where the girls will actually jump into the pool after you win. Swimmers practice 12 months of the year, 5 or more days a week, and only take a break for christmas or vacation.

We can swim miles in under 15 minutes, 25 yards in under 20 seconds, 50 or more yards without breathing, and beat anybody at a game of chicken in somebodies backyard pool.
Swimming is better than your sport!
by MITCHtheJEW September 08, 2006
 
7.
The only sport where people pee without going to the restroom.
Let's have some beers and go swimming for a couple of hours. Yet none goes to the restoom.
by Adrian Skertchly May 03, 2005