Literally no one's ever used this in a sexual connotation.

It was used in the movie 'Disturbia' where a scene appeared to invoke some kind of sexual tension moment when the killer says "someone as intelligent and attractive as you doesn't need to be wasting her time stoking the fire" while appearing charming and dark at the same time.

You can find the exact scene by searching "Disturbia (6/9) movie clip" in youtube.

What he was actually implying is that she doesn't need to piss him off when all he wants is privacy.

How this was misinterpreted is beyond me. Stoking the fire means to agitate the embers of a fire to keep it burning when it's almost out. Agitate being the keyword.
Q: What are you doing with that stick?
A: Stoking the fire, it's almost dead

A: I know your car got stolen but I accidentally ran over your cat
B: You're just stoking the fire now...
by iAmMeowNow January 31, 2020
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Contraction of a saying which refers to businesslike sex with a girl who is not facially attractive.
"You don't look at the mantlepiece when your stoking the fire."
by ninjabadger May 24, 2004
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