Skip to main content

taking my talents to southhampton 

to ejaculate onto someone's pillow at their hamptons' house. preferably the head of household. spawned from Lebron James' famous quote "taking my talents to south beach".
Larry: James, thanks for having me out here this weekend.
James: make yourself at home. My wife and I are going to the beach, do you want to join us?
Larry: no thanks, I have a few things to unload first.

*the next morning*
James: Oh f*ck, my pillow is stuck to my head!!!
Larry: That's right James, I've been taking my talents to southhampton

Southamptoned 

sau-tham-tuhnd

adjective slang

when your squad gets obliterated during a transfer window
Damn! Arsenal got Southamptoned for 5 straight seasons!
Southamptoned by KlNGEDY0 July 28, 2014

Southampton Chandler 

A technique for courtship practiced on the South Coast (usually in a nightclub, but can also be effective in libraries and hospitals). The maneouvre begins by working oneself into a unholy sweat, sauna's may be used, however the purists shun this frivilous aid.
Next the participant (using a feminine alias, such as Justin or Miranda) must choose his target and incessantly annoy them with a socially inept dogma - this can result in a 'pull'.
If the distinctly average looking target (gender unspecified) can be lured to a bedroom, the ritual mating will begin. This usually lasts for about 15 minutes or until the 'gurning fuck lizard' is so 'gunked up' her tears taste salty. Real Salty.

Illegal in most civilised worlds.
Justin: You know I created the Southampton Chandler

Girl: Get the fuck away from me, you depraved, red, sweaty fuck.

Justin: I'll put you down as a maybe.

South Hampton Drain Stainer 

Term used to describe a dump taken that leaves brown streaks at the bottom of the toilet, most commonly produced by Crab Cakes and after dinner coffee.
John searched frantically for the toilet brush after leaving a South Hampton Drain Stainer in Mary's toilet.

Southampton 

a town in the south of england that has drifted a mile west every 3.7 years in an attempt to get away from a massive shitpile called portsmouth.
i want to get out of this pompey shitpile but they wont let us in southampton until we have had our jabs.
Southampton by Heinzie September 24, 2011

Southampton 

Southampton is the major city on the South coast and Britain's leading passenger port. It also has the biggest and best-supported football club in the South outside of London.

It is the place where King Canute tried to turn back the waves and where he defeated Ethelred the Unready. It is the port from which Richard the Lionheart set sail for the Crusades, King Henry V and his troops embarked for the Battle of Agincourt, the Pilgrim Fathers set off for America aboard the Mayflower and from which the Titanic departed. It is also the city where the Spitfire was designed, built and flown and from which the Battle of Britain was won. As a consequence it faced relentless attacks form German bombers, during which much of the old city was burnt to the ground.

It is still the main port in England for ocean-going cruise ships and an annual international boat show is held in the marina. It has several shopping malls, including West Quay, which opened as the biggest city-centre shopping mall in Europe.

Famous residents have included the First World War commander of the British fleet, Admiral Jellicoe, the writer, Jane Austen, the painter, Millais, the film director, Ken Russell and the pop singer, Craig David. Sotonians, as Southampton people are known, are renowned for their sense of humour and two of the country's greatest comedians, Tommy Cooper and Benny Hill were also residents of the city.

Southampton has the world's oldest bowling green and many other fine sports facilities, including St Mary's football stadium and the Rose Bowl cricket stadium, both of which have hosted England international matches. In 1618 King James called Southampton "one of the healthiest towns in the kingdom". It seems that little has changed, as in 2006 it was named "the fittest city in the UK" by Mens Fitness magazine, based on various criteria, including the incidence of heart disease and the level of gym membership.

For the ancestors of millions of Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans, this was their last sight of England. At one time more than half of all people travelling in and out of Britain, passed through the city, earning it the nickname "Gateway to the World".
Southampton FC fans are the most loyal in the South of England.
Southampton by iwys December 25, 2007