slawness
slawness by SutterHomePapi June 6, 2017
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Sloaneys
A Sloaney SLOW KNEE is anyone who involves themselves in the “wild” public school* social life, and has a little too much money to burn. Traditionally, the Sloaney is female, but nowadays males have been welcomed into the category, with their own distinct form of Sloaneyism. Sloaneys tend to spend much of their free life mindlessly wandering up and down the King’s Road and the immediate area of Chelsea, making use of a specialist tool known as “Daddy’s Credit Card” with the traders of the area.
* A public school is a paid-for educational institution, often with boarding houses. The idea behind them is that someone pays for you to gain a superior education, which allows you to earn plenty of money to get your children a superior education, which allows them to... etc. etc. until one of your offspring blows all his money on a twin-engined chocolate orange making machine.
Where to find them
During the school holidays, look out for them primarily in the vicinity of King's Road ("the KR") in Chelsea, London. However, they also spend time in their estates in the Berkshire and Buckinghamshire countryside partaking in rituals known as "polo" and "tennis parties". Rock, in Cornwall, and its surrounding area is a popular destination for Sloaneys with an art for keeping their blood alcohol level above the 50% level.
Telltale signs
•
Designer clothes (non-skater, that is. Don't want to look like we've been slumming it in the skate park, do we darls?)
•
Voice sounds as if plum is shoved down throat
•
Use of Sloanglish
•
Group of 3 or more girls saying "Oh my gawd" and generally trying to make the rest of the world believe that their life is actually exciting
•
Group of 3 or more guys laughing like Tim Nice-but-Dim
•
Head glued to mobile phone in attempt to appear popular (it's probably Mummy seeing if they're alright)
•
Hyphenated surname
•
Referring to each other as "darling", and abbreviating each other's names to end with an S (eg. Laura - Lors, Lucy - Luce/Loos, Henry - Hens, William - Wills, etc.)
•
Pseudo-sophistication. Watch out for kissing once on each cheek as a greeting, like the French.
Sloaney schools
Ampleforth, Bradfield, Bryanston, Canford, Charterhouse, Eton, Harrow, Marlborough, Oundle, Radley, Rugby, Stowe, Tonbridge, Winchester, Abingdon, Benenden, Cheltenham Ladies', Downe House, Headington, Heathfield, King's Canterbury, St. Edward's Oxford ("Teddies" haha), St. Mary's Wantage, St. Mary's Carne, St. Mary's Ascot, St. George's Ascot, Uppingham, The Oratory School, Wellington, Woldingham, Wycombe Abbey ("Scabby Abbey")
and many more...
Sloaney names
Sometimes, these creatures give themselves away with their ridiculous names. Ones we found on an investigative (honest!) trip to Cornwall included Gala, Aurea, Crystal, Tory and Poppy. In most countries, giving children names like that is considered a severe breach of human rights.
c www.sloaneys.co.uk for more info
* A public school is a paid-for educational institution, often with boarding houses. The idea behind them is that someone pays for you to gain a superior education, which allows you to earn plenty of money to get your children a superior education, which allows them to... etc. etc. until one of your offspring blows all his money on a twin-engined chocolate orange making machine.
Where to find them
During the school holidays, look out for them primarily in the vicinity of King's Road ("the KR") in Chelsea, London. However, they also spend time in their estates in the Berkshire and Buckinghamshire countryside partaking in rituals known as "polo" and "tennis parties". Rock, in Cornwall, and its surrounding area is a popular destination for Sloaneys with an art for keeping their blood alcohol level above the 50% level.
Telltale signs
•
Designer clothes (non-skater, that is. Don't want to look like we've been slumming it in the skate park, do we darls?)
•
Voice sounds as if plum is shoved down throat
•
Use of Sloanglish
•
Group of 3 or more girls saying "Oh my gawd" and generally trying to make the rest of the world believe that their life is actually exciting
•
Group of 3 or more guys laughing like Tim Nice-but-Dim
•
Head glued to mobile phone in attempt to appear popular (it's probably Mummy seeing if they're alright)
•
Hyphenated surname
•
Referring to each other as "darling", and abbreviating each other's names to end with an S (eg. Laura - Lors, Lucy - Luce/Loos, Henry - Hens, William - Wills, etc.)
•
Pseudo-sophistication. Watch out for kissing once on each cheek as a greeting, like the French.
Sloaney schools
Ampleforth, Bradfield, Bryanston, Canford, Charterhouse, Eton, Harrow, Marlborough, Oundle, Radley, Rugby, Stowe, Tonbridge, Winchester, Abingdon, Benenden, Cheltenham Ladies', Downe House, Headington, Heathfield, King's Canterbury, St. Edward's Oxford ("Teddies" haha), St. Mary's Wantage, St. Mary's Carne, St. Mary's Ascot, St. George's Ascot, Uppingham, The Oratory School, Wellington, Woldingham, Wycombe Abbey ("Scabby Abbey")
and many more...
Sloaney names
Sometimes, these creatures give themselves away with their ridiculous names. Ones we found on an investigative (honest!) trip to Cornwall included Gala, Aurea, Crystal, Tory and Poppy. In most countries, giving children names like that is considered a severe breach of human rights.
c www.sloaneys.co.uk for more info
tara palmer-tomkinson
Sloaneys by chung takie tsang February 22, 2005
Related Words
Sloaneys • Slayness • slowness • Loafness • slagness • slawness • sloanesterr • Soapness • Absolute-slowness
Sloanes
A term used to describe young rich, upper/ middle class people. They usually go to public or private school, enjoy playing/ watching polo, sailing, and rugby. The girls enjoy shopping in London and hang around King's Road, Notting Hill and High Street Kensington.
The girls can be spotted by their:
Ridiculously backcombed hair, often with a massive side parting near their ears. If the hair's tied up it's in a very messy ponytail or loose knot
Clothing by Jack Wills, Abercrombie and Fitch or Ralph Lauren
Large belts
Massive over-sized sunglasses
Countless amounts of big bangles
Footless tights, denim mini skirt and Ugg boots
Abercrombie and Fitch or Jack Wills jogging botttoms tucked into their Ugg boots
Skinny Jeans
Long often ratty looking cardigans
Over sized JW or A&F jumpers
Ballet pumps
Big set of Faux pearls
Pashminas
Polo/rugy shirts with the collars turned up
Loud, fast speech, saying 'yah' alot
The boys can be spotted weaing:
Any item of clothing by Ralph Lauren, Jack Wills or Abercrombie and Fitch
Polo/ rugby shirts with the collars turned up
Brown loafers
Chinos
Names include: Harriet (Hats), Charlotte (Charls), Camilla (Mills), Emily (Ems), Antonia (Ants), Victoria (Tors/Tory), Olivia (Livs), Julia (Jules), Rupert, Sebastian, Jeremy (Jez), William (Wills)
The girls can be spotted by their:
Ridiculously backcombed hair, often with a massive side parting near their ears. If the hair's tied up it's in a very messy ponytail or loose knot
Clothing by Jack Wills, Abercrombie and Fitch or Ralph Lauren
Large belts
Massive over-sized sunglasses
Countless amounts of big bangles
Footless tights, denim mini skirt and Ugg boots
Abercrombie and Fitch or Jack Wills jogging botttoms tucked into their Ugg boots
Skinny Jeans
Long often ratty looking cardigans
Over sized JW or A&F jumpers
Ballet pumps
Big set of Faux pearls
Pashminas
Polo/rugy shirts with the collars turned up
Loud, fast speech, saying 'yah' alot
The boys can be spotted weaing:
Any item of clothing by Ralph Lauren, Jack Wills or Abercrombie and Fitch
Polo/ rugby shirts with the collars turned up
Brown loafers
Chinos
Names include: Harriet (Hats), Charlotte (Charls), Camilla (Mills), Emily (Ems), Antonia (Ants), Victoria (Tors/Tory), Olivia (Livs), Julia (Jules), Rupert, Sebastian, Jeremy (Jez), William (Wills)
Those girls are such sloanes.
(Normal people talking about sloanes)
"Shall we go shopping down the KR darls?"
"Yah! I've seen a new hoodie in Jack Wills it's sooooo fit!"
(Two sloanes talking to each other)
(Normal people talking about sloanes)
"Shall we go shopping down the KR darls?"
"Yah! I've seen a new hoodie in Jack Wills it's sooooo fit!"
(Two sloanes talking to each other)
Slayness
Used to describe someone's defined beauty. It's essentially an extention of slay which is commonly used with the word queen
Slayness by I Do Love MUSEic Indeed.. July 22, 2018
Absolute-slowness
The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.
It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"
*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*
Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"
*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*
Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
Absolute-slowness by asteroth February 24, 2010