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asimov's sideburns 

1) n. To be used in similes to show something is epic.
2) v. To be used to show you are doing something epic.
3) a. To be used to show how awesome what you are looking at is epic.
4) av. To be used to show how epic what you are/were doing is/was.

The phrase 'asimov's sideburns' refers to the science fiction writer Isaac Asimov, known mainly for his writing and good intellect, but the hidden gem of his character were his heavily-cultivated sideburns. Asimov fans around the world recognise Asimov's sideburns as some of the most persona-defining, ingenious, and gravity-defying hair since Friderich Nietzche's moustache.
1) She was as awesome as asimov's sideburns.

The Grand Canyon's pure sight was breathtaking, like asimov's sideburns.
2) I totally asimov's sideburned down that road.
3) Wow, did you see that asimov's sideburns car?
4) The car was asimov's sideburning asimov's sideburnly.
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anal sideburns 

Thick patches of hair on either side of the cornhole.
I didn't take offense to her anal sideburns. Even though her ass looked like Elvis, I was more concerned with her reaction to my sac mullet, which resembles Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden.

negative sideburns 

disturbing and uncompromising lack of sideburns. Usually seen alongside a fresh and vibrant buzz cut.
"Yo dude, did you see Vencile's new buzz cut and negative sideburns? Those things or lack there of will make a grown man cry"

"Yeah, and paired with that extraordinarily tight t-shirt, he's dressed for success"

pussy sideburns 

Femail pubic hair which extends beyond the pantyline and onto the inner thighs.
Man, that fat bitch from Russia had some wicked old pussy sideburns.
pussy sideburns by sirvancealott October 15, 2005

Vulcan sideburns 

A person who is unable to grow facial hair in the form of sideburns, so opts instead to grow the hair over their ears slightly longer than the rest of their hair.
Guy A: What's up with that Emo kid's hair
Guy B: He can't help it. It's Vulcan sideburns, man
Vulcan sideburns by Phunkie Junkie December 17, 2008

sideburns 

Facial hair covering the area just forward of the ears on men and certain unfortunate women of Mediterrainian extraction.

The name was derived from Burnside, an American Civil War general who, whilst clearly a man of style and innovation with his own sideburns, was a terribly poor military commander and was also a renowned figjam.
Man, are you living in the seventies? With those sideburns you could star as a crim in Starsky & Hutch!
sideburns by Busted Hyman July 6, 2006

Simonize my sideburns I'm Smelted! 

When things totally go wrong for you. Screwed over; a bad time is coming.
Oscar: You just lost the game for us dude!
Jason: Simonize my Sideburns I'm Smelted!