(n.) The reason for earthly unhappiness.
The church of Scientology could actually make us a lot happier if it folded.
by Kung-Fu Jesus May 07, 2004
basically a bullshit religon which desperate celberties believe in and other desperate fucks
Omg! Tom Cruise is so stupid because of his extreme amouunt money he combusted and became a member of scientology just like michael Jacckson, when he turned rich he decided to fuck lil boys and turn white....waaa fucking hooooo yay to all of you combusted fuckers
by miamiheatonfire3 August 26, 2006
Founded in the 1950's by pulp fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard Scientology is "the study of truth." It comes from the Latin word "scio" meaning "knowing in the fullest sense of the word" and the Greek word "logos" meaning "study of."

Scientologists believe that the body is a enternal spiritual being, and that one can not only solve their own problems, accomplish goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability.

Nah seriously, Scientology is a bunch of fricken crap! Using mind control techniques anyone participating in the cult's "auditing" will be converted into a total brain dead drone. Just ask Tom Cruise and his mindless "partner" Katie Holmes

Keep away - unless you want to lose all your money, friends and brain cells.
You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.
- you're glib. Matt matt matt matt matt... now, where's a couch?

-- Scientology brainwashed cultee
by Suri May 19, 2006
Proof that humans are so desperate to be told what to think, rather than seek and question for themselves, that they can be easily led about by someone claiming to have the answers to all of the burning questions they are too lazy to answer for themselves. Scientology is also an example of the saying, "If you believe in nothing, you'll fall for anything." Intellectually-challenged individuals buy into a philosophy that makes them feel that the cause of all of their woes does not lie with them, but the human existence that they are trapped in.

In essence, Scientologists are a more successful version of furries. Rather than deluding themselves into thinking they are animals trapped in human bodies, they believe they are aliens trapped in human bodies. Scientology is what furrydom or trekkies would be if they became a formally-recognized religion.
"I just had someone tell me that I'm a meek "Earth native" and then said something about them being a Vorlon trapped in a human body. I'm not sure if they were from the Church of Scientology or a furry convention."

"Were they dressed in fake ears and tail?"

"No."

"Then they were probably a Scientologist."
by Onikaze March 23, 2006
The very definition of retarded. Wackos who believe that aliens were ass rapped on earth and killed by a space dictator. Also practice this them selves.
man one "Dude I heard that bob is joining Scientology."

man two "yeah, better cover your ass or he'll get it."

man one "he'll pull a Tom Cruise on me?"

by jokemonkey2 February 09, 2007
A disease which infects many weak souls. Anyone infected with the disease feels they are superior, and the only ones who understand life. The disease also makes people act like a bunch of loudmouthed assholes who just want to sell books for their psuedo-religion. Comparable to placebos, a chimp's behind, and communism.
If scientology were a person, it would be slightly gay, and with small genitalia.
by the storm March 18, 2006
A religion that was created by a SCIENCE FICTION WRITER!!! L. Ron Hubbard<--- who got all his scientology information/bullcrap by feeding his son SPEED (the drug) and then wrote down whatever his son said. then he even said "best way to make money is to start your own religion"...which he then did...

Scientology has many fucked up rules

1. if anyone who badmouths or criticizes scientology is a criminal, regardless of past history, likewise with people who leave scientology, destroy them any way possible, you have permission from the church of scientology(i shit you not...this is the literal rules)

2. Pay to play: got no money? get the FUCK out of scientology

3. Recruit celebrities: GET CELEBRITIES FOR FREE ADVERTISING (this is also one of their rules...100% no bs)

4. Vitamins make everything better! brain tumor? NO PROBLEM HERE HAVE SOME VITAMINS... OF COURSE THEY WORK L.RON SAID THEY WOULD...PROOF? WHO NEEDS PROOF WHEN YOU HAVE THETANS!!!

5. If your dear loving family are not scientologists...either recruit them or cut them off completely, aww your moms dying? GOOD! SHE ISNT A SCIENTOLOGIST SHE DESERVES TO DIE

6. Psychology and psychiatry ARE EVIL...THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HOLOCAUST? (we dont need to prove...thetans remember?)...WHY? BECAUSE WE SAY SO...(besides we wouldnt want them to get rid of all our brain washing...)

7. MIND ALTERING DRUGS ARE EVIL...NOW LETS GO TAKE SOME WEED AND DRINK ALCHOHOL (L. Ron Hubbard was a heavy user of drugs)

8. Bribary and lying is justifiable if it benifits the church...we are above the law

9. If we cant beat them...sue them and incite violence against them until they are crushed...(sounds like the KKK and the NAZIs)

10. history is nothing...we can change it at our convienience...thats why L.Ron hubbard has about a thousand war medals...to bad those medals and official documents about them dissapeared...OH WELL guess you'll have to take our word for it
Scientology has caused many tragedies...go to wikipedia or google and look up what they did to Lisa McPherson

Go to youtube.com and type in scientology...you will see first hand how they abuse a reporter in an insane manner for trying to celebrate july 4th

They have bribed/brainwashed huge ammounts of the police force in various communities...soon they will truly be above the law no one will be safe

scientologists claim to have over 25 million members world wide...funny that the official government cenus and other records say its not even half of that...maybe 1/10th

They hope to destroy all forms of psycology and psychiatry...ironic that they use those techniques/practices themselves when "stress testing" people. if scientology is allowed to grow, the ability to care for those with mental diseases or issues will decay.

the practices and beliefs of scientology are making cracks within society with its agressive, selfish, and ignorant policies. they are encouraging violence and abuse to those who they deem "heretics" or "enemys"...if you say anything bad about them BAM "enemy" or "criminal"...if you try to leave their organisation BAM "heretic"
by Serial Protector May 19, 2007
1. A religion that dicks you out of your money and is overall very stupid.

2. A very stale internet meme. It was funny the first time when it was on South Park but when YTMND picked it up FIVE FUCKING MONTHS later and repeated the joke over and over and over and over it got completely stale. Ok. We get it. Xenu is a stupid story, blah blah blah. MOVE ON.
1. Guy 1: God Scientology is stupid.
Guy 2: I know.

2. Guy 1: OMG XENU LOLOLOLOLOL TOM CRUISE
Guy 2: You're a moron.
by Eric August 14, 2006
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