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Retracting tortoise 

A phrase used in response to somebody doing or saying something so unattractive, that the most mighty of erections would quickly shrivel to the size of an acorn. Very much like the head of a tortoise would retract within its shell.
"Dude, did you see Lucy eating that sausage and egg mcmuffin earlier?"
"Yeah man, she got mustard up her nose and proceeded to spoon it out and eat it, total retracting tortoise."
Retracting tortoise by Huuuuud September 23, 2012
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retracting genitaliation syndrome 

When your butt/balls get burned, your penis will retract all the way into your throat, which will give you Retracting Genitaliation Syndrome. Also known as RGS.
James burned his butt on the metal ground, so now he has Retracting Genitaliation Syndrome.

retracting sausage 

When you lose a stiffy because you saw grammy naked
"Last night I saw my grandma's saggy tits then I got a retracting sausage"

Retreating Glacier 

A post coital condition occurring to a woman, when ejaculated semen through breast copulation pools in the indentation at the base of the neck, followed by the woman transitioning from a laying down position to an upright position; causing the ejaculate to slowly flow down the upper breast, receding from the indentation.
I tell you what Al, I think global warming is for real... I gave your mom a retreating glacier last night
Retreating Glacier by Bang-C February 24, 2011

over reacting 

something a guy should never tell a girl. Unless he wants his heart broken.
“Britney your over reacting it’s not big deal.”
Britney- Listen here you little fucker.
over reacting by litty68430 February 18, 2019

Insta-Cum Retraining 

A highly-structured desensitization program designed to reestablish normal sexual stamina after many years of forced, infrequent, dispassionate and time-constrained copulation efforts.
My wife just signed me up for Insta-cum retraining...seems she requires a bit more time and expertise then when we fucked on prom nite...
Insta-Cum Retraining by YAWA June 13, 2018

addition by retraction 

The idea that you earn some major points as a medical student if you do an exceptional job and remain utterly enthusiastic while performing a seemingly mundane task such as pulling back tissue in surgery for your attending doctor.
Student 1: "I can't believe Johnny got that residency spot. Must've been his positivie attitude and his efforts to do everything he could to help out his attendings in surgery."

Student 2: "Yeah, must've been a case of 'addition by retraction'."