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premature treejaculation 

Someone who puts a Christmas tree up in November.
Who do I need to see for help? Iv put my Christmas tree up in November. I must be suffering with premature treejaculation.

Premature Textjaculation 

Sending a text before typing anything into the message due to distraction, excitement, dangerous texting speeds, or a faulty phone.
"My boyfriend has premature textjaculation"
"What do you mean?"
"Every time we're getting real edgy he sends off texts with nothing in them."

premature tweejaculation 

when you accidentally send a tweet and you're not even close to being done typing.
Premature tweejaculation is the most common illness among fucktards who has fat thumbs and can't type.