Reality: A live photocopier is the single most dangerous thing unknown to man. The machines used by humans are simply husks of once-living photocopiers. A live photocopier is invisible to the human eye, and each one wears a dead skin mask of a previous human victim, which they flash briefly at passers-by to make them decorate their pants. They are also equiped with double ink-jet blasters, as well as a large red button which, when pressed by a human lucky (or foolish) enough to survive for so long in the presence of a living photocopier, will immediately pulverise half of the planet. However, if all the photocopiers' buttons were pressed at the same time, the entire universe as we know it would be smushed into oblivion.
Cleopatra: Oh God, it's a fucking photocopier! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run (ink spurting), aaaaaaaargh fuckcunt!!!!