wank with the other hand 

1. To purposefully deceive yourself in order to gain or increase satisfaction.

2. To gain or increase satisfaction.

3. To wank with the opposite hand that is normally used thus creating a new sensation in the reaching of climax.

1. Friend1: "I trained myself not to prematurely ejaculate with my girl by picturing your granddad naked before I cum."
Friend2: "Dont tell me how you wank with the other hand."

2. Friend1: "Get me a kebab to eat with this joint."
Friend2: "You're a lazy one but atleast you can wank with the other hand."

3. "I proceeded to wank with the other hand in hope that it felt like someone else was jerking me off."

wank with the other hand by Sir Pink Panther April 27, 2006

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about 

A twist on the saying ,"shit in in one hand and ask with the other and see which one gets filled 1st", targeted at complainers and whiners.

Whiney person: Everything sucks as usual.
Me: Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about.
Whiney person: That's the last time I complain to you about my life and also why are my boots in the bathroom?

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about by The Dark Anus (JC) February 26, 2019

shake my other hand 

Jerk me off it suck my dick used as more of a metaphor not in an actual sexual situation

Dad: go do the dishes

Me : fuck you shake my other hand

shake my other hand by Pussy eating champion February 10, 2017

What's on my other hand? 

The usually holographic light shifting in the middle of one of SimplyNailogical's videos. Cristine will link the polish in the description. I recommend it.

"Oh... and WHAT'S ON MY OTHER HAND? It's a beautiful classic silver holo, with a holo taco on top."

What's on my other hand? by junhuistan July 5, 2018

Wish in one hand, shit in the other. 

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first." When a person wants the impossible.

Joe: We need world peace. Can't we just all get along?
Tom: Well Joe, Wish in one hand, shit in the other.

Wish in one hand, shit in the other. by ebensteben April 27, 2008

wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which 

You can take all of your wishes and wants, dreams, desires, and prayers, and put them all together....they still do not amount to shit.

Dad, I want a pony! Well, you can wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which by Papa Bubbles November 5, 2017

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of. 

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of. by Bill Tetley June 19, 2011