ned
the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
by kaz n kisp August 12, 2005

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Ned
A lovely intelligent boy, generally likes to stay home and relax.
Enjoys smoking pot and hanging out with friends in his home in the forest
Ned also known as nedalicious
by the girlfromthe place February 03, 2010

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Ned
A ned is the proper name for a stainless steel dishwashing scrubby that is placed above a sink drain to keep the drain flowing, free from any clogging that may occur. Named after Ned Bechtold who developed this technique.
Hey Chris, don't forget to put a ned in that sink of the fish scales are gonna clog it up real quick.
by MongerX August 28, 2009

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ned
a good name for a penis.
he named it ned.
by oh-noes June 27, 2009

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NED
A Scottish term for a "Chav". It stands for Non-Educated-Delinquant.
Neds can be identified in 5 simple ways:

1-Scottish, white, working class.
2- Wears baseball caps, bling and minging tracksuits.
3- Lacks the ability to use standard English.
4- Listens to "hardcore" dance music, and drives around in an ugly little car blaring their "toons" for all to hear.
5- Has an absolute obsession with the tonic wine- Buckfast.
Norm: Hi.
Ned: Haw, man, pass the pure mad Bucky man. Watch ye dinnae spill it, you'll wreck ma minted Adidas tracksuit man. Fancy a drive? We can go cruuuuuuizin' in ma pure mad mental Honda man, an' listen tae Basshunter man.
Norm: Fuck off, you wee ned!
by Scots-girl-oh-aye June 26, 2009

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Ned
A man with a dry sense of humor who was at one point in his life, a social outcast, driven into a deep depression, and is slowly overcoming this problem by being an academic counselor who tells extremely lame jokes while putting one hand in his left pocket, thrusting his hips to the right, and shooting the "double-finger gun" at a 45º angle towards the ground.

Can usually be found wearing a button-up shirt with a collage of ducks and dogs scattered on it. He also wears an ugly pair of forest-green khakis slacks. His facial features include enormous ears, large, pointy, and crooked nose, and a clean-shaven face.

Name: Ned
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 135 lbs
Shoe Size: > 16
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Body Type: Lanky
Location: School Classroom
Occupation: Academic Advisor/Counselor
Habits: 1. Thrusting the symbol "The Ned" high in the air. 2. Repeating the main subject of every sentence you say to him while engaged in coversation.
Example 1:
Kids: "Ned, we are thinking about jobbing out of 6th and 7th hour, now that football is over."
Ned: "Jaaawwbbin' out"

Example 2:
Kids: Ned, we are thinking about getting into some serious supersadomasochisticnecrobeastiality.
Ned: "Supersadomasochisticnecrobeastiality."
by Wet Festus January 31, 2009

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Ned
A Ned is an extremely sexy, buff and sport super star fella. Ladies are drawn to him. Defines the term 'chick magnet' as women are attracted to him
Girl 1 "hey look it is a Ned"
Girl 2 "how do you know"
Girl 1 "just look at him"
by Anonymous18572 July 09, 2016

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Ned
An annoying human being. Into drugs, drink. All countries have neds. They don't talk properly.
Don't go near him . He's a ned
He's a wee ned.
by celticman67 June 26, 2016

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