Ned
Hang about in parks and housing estates modelling their finest track-suits, Berghaus jackets and Burberry cap aimed at the moon. A bottle of Buckfast in one hand and the other usually down the "trackies" of a female companion, The female ned dresses in the same atire but has a "tango" coloured face, white arms and an arse as wide as a taxi with a thong cutting through a sweaty layer of flab.

Older neds are called "Mad Tramps" or "Smelly Bastards" wear track-suits, white trainers, smoke roll-ups made with Drum tobacco and think its right the state foot the bill for their inability to earn wages because they are too stupid to even count their own fingers, barely able to make the toilet, yet could cover 100m faster than Usain Bolt to catch an ice cream van for "a boatle o ginger", Drum rolling tobacco and/or 20 Mayfair, a powercard and a 20lb bag of boiled sugar for their 8 month old "wean" for his dinner.

Smoke anything if it was brown, even shite if someone called it hash. And if they are not buying it, they are selling it instead.

Neds houses all appear to be decorated and furnished by the same person also (??) and are filled with, either stolen things or cheap tat, bought with ten-thousand billion percent hire purchase from Shitehouse and a stereo with only cd's of smurf-sounding rave music blasting, or Pink Floyd for the more cultured ned. Ugly, fat and pishy smelling at worst and avoidable at best.
Jeeves: I didn't get into that establishment. By jove one is miffed!

Wooster: Gadzooks! Why not, Jeeves my good man?

Jeeves: Because there was a roudy-rabble of rather inhebriated neds talking to me in the queue, one can only presume the door fellow assumed me as their companion.
by tommy-the-hat February 09, 2010
Ned
A type of thug in Scotland, their low level IQ doesn't allow them to understand much, not even activities that they claim to be experts on such as: fighting, drinking, drug-taking and cars (not that they can afford a car). The mass majority of these idiots are unemployed. So here's what clothes they wear: tracksuits. socks that are worn over the sleeves of the track bottoms, "gold" chains, one or two rings, white trainers and Rangers or Cetic football tops. They are normally in a group or should I say a "team" and they may have a ridiculous name for this team and they talk bollocks to other teams about how uneducated they all are, then start slicing and stabbing eachother with kitchen knives. Neds can make an aftershave or a deodorant smell like feces, mainly because they bath in these fragrances (not to imply these brainless tinks actually wash themselves) and put way too much on, their breathe stinks and clearly neds don't brush their teeth. Neds act aggressive, because old ladies that have been victims of attacks from neds had convinced these neds that they are somewhat badass, which of course they aren't, they're all talk ... if you can even call what comes out their smelly mouths, 'talk'. As for alcohol consumption, mostly Buckfast tonic wine or VERY cheap beer and cider. Drugs: hash and maybe sniff glue they nicked from a primary school. Figure: skinny and rodent-like. IQ: 0-30 points. Neds are just a waste of space, air and money.
Ned: Hol you, wit ye dain growling at meh, tryin eh start sommit?

Person with an IQ above 75: Sorry, can I help you?

Ned: Ah wiz chillin ova there and ah caught ye out growling at meh

Person: Um, well I wasn't, now go away and fry a mars bar or something

Ned: WIT YE SAYIN TEH ME?

Person: Get a job
by brothelboy March 06, 2010
Ned
A lovely intelligent boy, generally likes to stay home and relax.
Enjoys smoking pot and hanging out with friends in his home in the forest
Ned also known as nedalicious
by the girlfromthe place February 03, 2010
Ned
A ned is the proper name for a stainless steel dishwashing scrubby that is placed above a sink drain to keep the drain flowing, free from any clogging that may occur. Named after Ned Bechtold who developed this technique.
Hey Chris, don't forget to put a ned in that sink of the fish scales are gonna clog it up real quick.
by MongerX August 28, 2009
Ned
A man with a dry sense of humor who was at one point in his life, a social outcast, driven into a deep depression, and is slowly overcoming this problem by being an academic counselor who tells extremely lame jokes while putting one hand in his left pocket, thrusting his hips to the right, and shooting the "double-finger gun" at a 45º angle towards the ground.

Can usually be found wearing a button-up shirt with a collage of ducks and dogs scattered on it. He also wears an ugly pair of forest-green khakis slacks. His facial features include enormous ears, large, pointy, and crooked nose, and a clean-shaven face.

Name: Ned
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 135 lbs
Shoe Size: > 16
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Body Type: Lanky
Location: School Classroom
Occupation: Academic Advisor/Counselor
Habits: 1. Thrusting the symbol "The Ned" high in the air. 2. Repeating the main subject of every sentence you say to him while engaged in coversation.
Example 1:
Kids: "Ned, we are thinking about jobbing out of 6th and 7th hour, now that football is over."
Ned: "Jaaawwbbin' out"

Example 2:
Kids: Ned, we are thinking about getting into some serious supersadomasochisticnecrobeastiality.
Ned: "Supersadomasochisticnecrobeastiality."
by Wet Festus January 31, 2009
ned
stands for non educated deliquent

a Scottish boy/girl that hangs about the street drinking buckfast cider or maddog 20/20 fighting with other neds from a local community.
Neds speek in slang ie ;
omg ah wiz fuckin mwii last nitee ah pyoor stuck mah nut ihn sum guy n ah fink ah shaged sum bhurd
by paddymcphee December 29, 2008
ned
Neds are so like totally beastly man, pure hard mans like, flip reverse it! oh, yeah? Ye want a fight? i'm gonna f****************** deck ya, ye little ponc.

complete with burberry, and a 'cool' walk (think a weird kangaroo)
Think of a nice, well educated, polite charming person like myself, and the person who threatened me (aged 10) and the rest of my family on my dad's birthday and said (quote) i'm gonna slash yer throat, i'm gonna chuck you over this cliff, etc.
by Annabel May 21, 2004

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