Top Definition
Someone too incompetent to do any real work but who now has the authority to fuck up the work of those who aren't
by Alien Entity September 22, 2002
sits in the back room on myspace and facebook, smokes too much, talks on the phone, does little or nothing all day, then tells you what your doing is not being done well enough and gets paid twice as much as you to do it
manager's friend: what did you do at work today
manager: nothing really...
by nathan. August 20, 2007
The career goal of every employee too useless or lazy to do any REAL work
Vic Barron thinks that if he blows enough managers, they might eventually make him a manager too.
by -Anon- July 13, 2003
A secretary who can fire you.
manager: i know you told me all this work is impossible to get done in time, but get it done. i'll go do some useless paperwork.

employee: but...

manager: you're fired. now get back to work.
by Jack Cough December 26, 2008
a sadistic prick who suffers from the delusion that they are a "businessman" or "business woman" with a busy career when in reality they are just another back liner who got promoted via strategic ass kissing. Loves to treat everyone below them like crap, then complains to their friends that their busy "career" is just so stressful. Someone who wasn't intelligent enough to get an ACTUAL business career (CPA, etc). Usually an overweight ugly chick who did crappy in high school and worked at a fast food joint since her sixteenth birthday. Someone who is too ugly and fat to find a boyfriend and makes up for it by indulging in her "career".
Me: *works ass off in 120 degree heat in kitchen*
Manager: you're gonna have to fill in for the deep fryer today. Do u know how to do it?
Me: no I-
by NormalGuyYouSholdKnow November 11, 2007
Someone who supervises your work and sits in the back pretending to work on the computer. Gets paid twice as much to do so. If they are of the opposite sex, you will sooner or later realize that you secretly want to fuck them.
She had a dream that she slept with her manager, who she hates for being a perfectionist at work.
by Crazyevil June 17, 2008
The guy wearing clean clothes who has very soft, smooth hands and a slick haircut and tells you to get the hell home before you get any overtime. The company's representative who is responsible for harassing, intimidating, disciplining and strong-arming employees in the name of better business practices. The cocky, overblown prick whose desk at work is stacked higher with grievance papers than his desk at home is piled high with overdue car and mortgage payments. That smarmy cocksucker in the VIP lounge at the club who orders bottles of top shelf vodka for the underage rich girls he picks up nightly at the strip joint. A man whose insecurities and self-doubts provide ample fuel for his currupt machinations in the workplace. The blue nosed white collared red cheeked scum-of-the-earth driveshaft of america's sputtering corporate engine. Collectively, managers are the scum that rises to the top of the pond in which we all must daily swim, and the company's ethics hotline is the vast barge that pushes this slime to shore to be beached and shriveled in the white-hot scorching sun of accountability.
Manager Jimbob had to change his underwear after I whipped out my contract book and asked him if he was harassing me. His panic sweat reeked of booze and almonds.
by Nate United February 27, 2009
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