Top Definition
When one shakes their penis at someone for no reason at all, other than to let them know that they in fact have a penis and are not afraid to use it. The majority of the time the "JOOSER" is under the influence of excessive amounts of alcohol, and most likely will not remember in the morning.
Anthony got so drunk last night he JOOSED the girl at the bar.
by triktrik January 25, 2015
Receiving an alcohol enema. The alcohol can be of any variety, but it is more commonly known as "joosed" due to the popularity of receiving the enema with the flavored/caffeinated malt beverage, "Joose".

The effervescence of the "joosing" is thought to increase the alcohol absorption into the bloodstream (over other non-carbonated alcohol enemas with the same alcohol percentage).

The enema is administered via a joose-bag or common drug-store enema (see Fleet Enema for an example). The joose bag resembles a pastry bag and has multiple joose nozzles that can be swapped out for varying levels of pleasure and experience. Additionally, it is recommended that when sharing a joose bag between two or more individuals, a separate nozzle (or bag) should be used per recipient.

The bag is filled with the alcoholic beverage, while keeping one finger under the tip of the nozzle. The open end is then folded over and sealed tight.

The recipient must then remove their pants and undergarments and recline in either a horizontal or angled position to position the rectum as north as possible.

A second individual will then administer the joosing. (Experienced joosers will be able to administer their own with practice.) The recipient must then remain in an anus-northward position until it is time to "pull the ripcord," or release the alcohol from his/her anus.

If the alcoholic beverage is of a lower alcohol percentage, the recipient may then choose to be plugged with a silicone "cork" or joose plug. The recipient can then be mobile until the "ripcord" is pulled.

More information can be found here (section 5):

Joosing is extremely dangerous, and many people have died from alcohol poisoning from it. It is NOT recommended that anyone practice this form of alcohol consumption.

Please see the 2007 Darwin Award winner:
Damn! Me and the boys went out last night and got straight joosed in the ass! That old dude hooked us up proper with joose-bags and nozzles for us all!
by Leeroy Jenkem February 23, 2009
being ripped off or stolen from physically (money) or emotionally. Stingy
Garrett joosed segal when he wouldn't pay for lunch
by Segal January 17, 2005
getting fucked up on the titular energy drink like a certain Irish kid; may result in amazing dancing, and streaking.
"Oh fuck, I was so joosed last night."
"Yo, do you wanna get joosed tonite?"
"Wow that kids so joosed, hes naked behind a palm leaf."
by 1/2AZN June 08, 2009

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