glad hands

Used to describe a handshake from a person who has malicious intentions, in regards to your future.

Fuck smiley glad hands
With hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses

- from "Aenima" by Tool

by Thug 4 L1f3 September 22, 2005

Glad-Handing

To offer masturbatory assistance. Used in leu of the term reach-around.

i.e. After glad-handing my boss I got a massive pay raise.

by LanciferX August 10, 2010

Glad handed

Glad handed is when you play a game of basketball and someone grabs your buns when you're down low.

I was in the lane and Buddy threw me the ball, next thing I know, someone glad handed me.

by Old_savage August 7, 2016

Glad Hand

ONE in the pink; FOUR in the stink... which after insertion is followed by a "Hi how are you, nice to meet you" up and down handshake type motion. When the hand is removed it seems to have a new dark brown, GLAD trash bag appearance.

" I met her at the airport on a layover; we drank at the bar and I gave her the old Glad Hand in a corner near Terminal C"

by WindoLickr February 21, 2022

Mr. Glad-Hand

Somone like a politician who goes goes up and shakes everyone's hand with a great big smile. Feighned "Glad to meet ya."

Look at that jerk-off Mr. Glad-Hand cheeze-balling the crowd.

by ellmanholmes July 10, 2011