Family Jewels

Family Jewels is slang for a man's penis and testicles, which are important for having a family and also for sex. The sperm is stored in the testicles! Also, getting kicked in the family jewels hurts a lot!

Bully: Eat dirt!

Bobby: That's my purse! I don't know you! *kicks Bully in the Family Jewels.
Bully: Ahhhh!*Collapses to the floor.

Family Jewels by HawaiianPunch1 April 13, 2023

johnson family jewels 

the sack of stones attached to a johnson, the balls on a dick

"ouch, that soccer guy just took one in the johnson family jewels."

--also, every episode of america's funniest videos includes at least one guy getting whacked in the johnson family jewels by a kid with a baseball bat, golf club, a kid swinging at a pinata, or some other predictable manner

johnson family jewels by spiderbesideher September 26, 2009

family jewels

precious gems responsible for creating all families; i.e. "testicles"

Heather loved to suck his cock while fondling his family jewels.

family jewels by Stephanie6977 September 27, 2011

Family Jewels

A male's testicles. Located behind the penis in a pouch of skin called the scrotum.

Becca kicked me right in my family jewels.

Family Jewels by captainamerica1233432356654 September 12, 2019

family jewels

Testicles; balls; nuts etc..

Homer Simpson: Remember son kick 'em in the family jewels.

family jewels by jambone nahasapeedapentalon August 8, 2003

family jewels

Man's bat and balls!

Ohhhhhh my family jewels.

family jewels by none March 6, 2004

Family Jewels

Meaning to try to stand up to the Bad Things in life.

Jar Jar Blinks doesn't have the Family Jewels to prove his braverly.

Family Jewels by MikeKal July 25, 2009