Facebook (It doesn’t deserve a big heading)
A social networking site that makes it ok for people to stalk one another, lets teenage girls pose holding drinks with less than 1% alcohol, and makes even the dropkicks look like social suaves. A place where people pretend to have heaps of friends that, really they have only made eye contact with and a place where you can talk to that HAWT BOI at the bus stop without being a complete dickhead (because as we all know, saying something over the computer is much more acceptable than saying it face to face!)

And for those who say, “I just want it to catch up with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time” there might be a reason why you haven’t seen them in a while…THEY DON’T LIKE YOU! That or you are just a tool and think it’s ok to stalk people. And since when did going on the computer become cool?!?!

One of my friend’s said to me, “Oh my god! You don’t have a Facebook! Do you have a life?” Very, VERY ironic. I’m the one without a life talking to my friends on the phone or in person and you have the most fulfilling life sitting on the computer talking to your posse of BAAAAAAABY GURLZZZZZ!

Why would everyone want to know what everyone else is doing? “Oh boy! Cindy wrote on Shamus’ wall!” WHO GIVES A RATS!?! What an invasion of privacy! And then you get the kids “facebooking” (apparently that’s a verb now) at school. *sigh* will you ever learn? Oh, we can all see the point of talking to someone on Facebook when they’re sitting next to you… BECAUSE IT’S DIGITAL WHICH MAKES IT WAY MORE FUN THAN ENGAGING IN ACTUAL CONVERSATION!

It’s all in the name…FACEBOOK. A book of your FACE, not your breasts, 6 pack, or stiletto bearing legs! Who wants to comment on blurry photos of an arm, leg, ear, eye in your album “MY TOTS DRNKN NITE OUT WIF ALL MA CREW?” The answer to that…OTHER FACEBOOK LOSERS LIKE YOURSELF!

A social networking site…dear me, that does sound a lot like those dating services with all the desperate men looking for love and a good time. Oh yes indeed, everyone’s favourite social networking site, Facebook is definitely the place to be because you can be just like fat and greasy Peter on Lava Life reloading his profile every 0.18 of a second to see if anyone’s commented on his pictures (which have obviously been photoshopped) to see if anyone finds him remotely SXC or interesting. News for you greasy Peter and all-to-similar Facebookers, you are stupid!

I must give this complete, waste of time site some credit though…you are better than “slutsville” and “pimp-wannabe” Myspace. Having fake friends, mmmm yeah I can live with that. But rating friends, that is just RIDICULOUS! Myspace; where a normal conversation sounds like, “PLZ COMMENT ON MA HAWT NEW PICS BABEEEEEEZ! ILY MWA” And if one dares not to… “OMFG! WTF! U TOTS DIDN’T COMMENT ON MA PIC WIF ME DRINKING A CRUISA! YOR TOTS MOVING DOWN MA TOP FRIENDS! BIATCH” Nuff said.

In conclusion, sure, it’s ok to have a Facebook. Hell, someone made a fake one for me, probably so they could have another friend on their HUGE list (pfft, jerks!). But I tip my hat to the people that have not fallen into this trap. Not the people who have one who just haven’t become addicted; you’re good, but you’re still an idiot! I salute those who have phone conversations and go over to people’s houses to make verbal conversation. Hell, I’ll even salute telegrams if they’re bold enough. But there is no way that I would ever salute the self-obsessed boys and girls (notice how I didn’t say men and women, because these people are quite childish) that centre their lives on stalking other boys and girls. You are what I like to call…a moron.
Facebook loser: I have a facebook. That means I'm a moron
by sorry for the rant April 25, 2009
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a stalkers dream come true
facebook addict #1: dude you know that hot girl who lives upstairs, i totally got her screen name and cell phone number off of facebook
facebook addict #2: awesome, now you can totally stalk her
by jim March 08, 2005
the reason my papers are never done on time.
need to write report = facebook time!
by q-mas February 10, 2005
An online network open to college students at certain universities. Students make up their own profiles which include a picture, name, birthdate, interests, and classes. They can then search for other students at their university or another university that has the facebook. One can add people they know or random people as their "friends."

Good for:
1.) Procrastinating
2.) Stalking
Scenario 1:
Girl: Last night I didn't get any work done because I was looking at facebook all night!

Scenario 2:
Girl 1: I found that really hot guy from our history class on facebook last night!
Girl 2: Really?!
Girl 1: Yeah! His name is insert name here, he's in insert classes here, he's single and is looking for a relationship, friendship, dating, random play, or anything he can get! (options under relationship status and what one is looking for)
by Amanda November 05, 2004
WARNING: The new addictive drug that has devastatingly hit most colleges, universities, and highschools. The drug causes lasting effects: procrastination, swollen fingers, dropped grades, irritation of the eyes, increased need to add more friends to your friends list, and skipped classes. Be cautious, some think they are immune to the effects of facebook, until they try it and by then its too late. Protect Yourselves.
Know a friend thats hooked on facebook? Call this toll free hotline: 1-800-ILVFCBK, we have professionals ready to help you.
by Kissabledimplz December 02, 2005
A much cleaner, more private alternative to MySpace.
Wow, Facebook doesn't lag!
by Pro January 16, 2006
Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and poke random people.
by Joshthalk December 10, 2010
Where lonely and socially inept losers can pretend they have a life.
Hey, look, I have five hundred "friends" on facebook, most of whom I only talked to once or twice at most.
by runpoochrun July 09, 2009

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