Don't be a douche bag!

A phrase said by a douche bag to a weak soul after committing an act of douchebaggery to them. This is said in an attempt to point the blame to the victim rather than yourself.

Steven: Patrick...don't you think you've had enough to drink tonight?
Patrick: Don't be a douche bag!

Patrick: I'm hungry (Takes lunch money)
Steven: HEY! thats mine! My mommy gave me that!
Patrick: Don't be a douchebag!

by Pat Manson February 24, 2010

Sorry, I don't sprechen the douche.

Response to someone either being a douche, saying something douchey, or telling you to get an Über.

Play on "sprechen sie deutsch"

Q: "Why don't you just take an Über?"

A: "Sorry, I don't sprechen the douche."

by Bob Rogue March 22, 2016