dick contest 

A friendly competition in which several males compare phalluses. The judge is typically a female with experience evaluating the male anatomy.

T-Good won the 7th floor dick contest; his dick is truly the greatest in the land.

dick contest by bigdickbandit February 22, 2008

L.A. Dick Contest 

A shootout between street punks over women, status, or cred.

A few thugs got into an L.A. dick contest in the parking lot at the club in Compton Saturday night.

L.A. Dick Contest by panic oasis August 5, 2022

Dick Swinging Contest 

an ego laden interaction usually (although not always) involving men where each individual tries to out do the the other in knowledge and or acheivements. Often seen in corporate settings and family get-togethers

Fuck me! That was a waste of time. I actually thought we could get something done at this meeting. Instead it turned into a Dick Swinging Contest!

Dick Swinging Contest by Mr Jameson October 23, 2010

Dick measuring contest 

When a group of egotistical men get together

Today’s meeting turned into a dick measuring contest

Dick measuring contest by Mistressbaby November 5, 2021

dick thwacking contest 

any exchange in which opposing parties will carry out brazen competitive acts purely based on the idea that self-fulfillment will be derived from the intensity of the sound produced when they allow the underside of their dick to drop onto a cold, granite countertop (i.e. a thwack). The louder the thwack, the more intrinsically valuable that person is to the world.

Kline keeps donating money to organizations to have buildings named after himself, and Specter reacts by donating more himself, to place his name on more buildings. It's a giant-ass dick thwacking contest.

The cold war was effectively a dick thwacking contest between the US and Russia.

dick thwacking contest by big_dick_ben December 3, 2018

dick measuring contest 

A conflict in which two parties (ususally male) are vehemently disputing something of limited relevance. Generally, both parties are somewhat wrong, but each refuses to be back down for fear of being thought the have the smaller of their two penises. Similar to a pissing match, but generally, the conflict involved involves a larger element of machismo, and continues on only because neither side wants to be seen as the one who backs down.

The White House and the Conservative Right have been in a real dick measuring contest over the qualifications of this new Supreme Court apointee, Harriet Meiers.

dick measuring contest by Cosmo October 12, 2005

Dick Waving Contest 

An activity that usually involves two people who dispute their superiority to the other. This is accomplished by the recitation of individual skills, exploits and accomplishments whose merit is questionable at best. Also, the purpose of discussing said activities serves no purpose but to prove superiority to the other.

Jack and John debated for 3 hours who had the most money, girlfriends, best car, etc. It was really just a dick waving contest that made me sick.

Dick Waving Contest by J. Malik April 29, 2006