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diarrhoea panic

I was on my way home from my local Indian, when all of a sudden I had a harsh case of diarrhoea panic.
diarrhoea panic by tylrh_ September 29, 2018

bandwidth-diarrhoea 

The relaxing / loosening of ISP's bandwidth-sphincters
Siddhartha: Last month I visited India for my project & found that all ISPs are suffering from bandwidth diarrhoea
Roxanne: How bad is it? How did it happen?
Siddhartha: Really bad, for years they had terrible case of bandwidth-constipation, like the cost of 100 mbps FTTH now is a third of what a 4 mbps copper line used to cost 4 years ago. This guy Ambani shook up the industry in 2016 & this scared the shit out (literally) of all small & big ISPs that were selling crappy internet for exorbitant prices for years. 100 mbps costs $8 a month now.
Roxanne: Whoa! That's a serious case of bandwidth-diarrhoea

diarrhoea 

'Hi Boss, I couldn't possibly come to work today. I have a bad, bad case of diarrhoea.'

Diarrhoea 

Diarrhoea is just another way to spell diarrhea
Diarrhoea by Inquisitive Walnut August 13, 2019

pushing diarrhoea uphill with a rake 

Trying to do the near impossible due to having or being given the wrong tools or insufficiency of time.
Usually preceded by "like pushing...".
The refusal of management to see the blindingly obvious despite it being pointed out and insisting upon something inappropriate.
A:"Can you get this new program to print?".
B:"No, I've told the service centre every day this week but they still say it's ok; dealing with them is like pushing diarrhoea uphill with a rake".
Misspelling of "diarrhea," a favorite subject of elementary school songs learned on the playground.
(singing) When you're sittin' on the toilet and the toilet paper's gone, be a man: Use your hands! Diarrhea!

(singing) When you're ridin' on your Harley and you feel somethin' gnarly: Diarrhea! When you're climbin' on a ladder and you feel somethin' splatter: Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
diarhea by BlastMaster December 30, 2003