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I WOULD HAVE TO TAP THE COAT OF ARMS AND DECLERATION OF INDEPENDENCE THREE TIMES. 

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Person 190: I WOULD HAVE TO TAP THE COAT OF ARMS AND DECLERATION OF INDEPENDENCE THREE TIMES.

《¤》Gabriel《¤》Inglesias《¤》Does《¤》 Steal《¤》The 《¤》Decleration《¤》Of《¤》Indepedence《¤》gabriel《¤》inglesias《¤》does《¤》to 《¤》steal《¤》the《¤》declaration 《¤》of《¤》independence《¤》《¤》Gabriel《¤》Inglesias《¤》Does《¤》To《¤》 Steal《¤》The 《¤》Decleration《¤》Of《¤》Indepedence《¤》 

what I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1:《¤》Gabriel《¤》Inglesias《¤》Does《¤》 Steal《¤》The 《¤》Decleration《¤》Of《¤》Indepedence《¤》gabriel《¤》inglesias《¤》does《¤》to 《¤》steal《¤》the《¤》declaration 《¤》of《¤》independence《¤》《¤》Gabriel《¤》Inglesias《¤》Does《¤》To《¤》 Steal《¤》The 《¤》Decleration《¤》Of《¤》Indepedence《¤》

Declaration of Independence 

Filing for divorce.

The legal document recognized on July 4, 1776 in Philadelphia by the Continental Congress and signed by many of our founding fathers, announcing a seccesion of the 13 Colonies from Great Britain. It is the event by which we celebrate Independence Day.
The Declaration of Independence was probably the single-most important document that changed the world as we know it.

declaration of independence 

the very first time you jerk off after breaking up with your girlfriend
i havent came like that since my declaration of independence.

The Declaration of Independence 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.

Declaration of Independence 

Generally performed on someone that is passed out from excessive drinking, the Declaration of Independence is when multiple John Hancocks are performed on one person.
Adam: Wow, look at Joey's face. I've never seen so many mushroom stamps on someone's face.

Matt: Ya, each mushroom stamp is actually called a John Hancock and since there are so many, that's a Declaration of Independence.