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crotchstache

Lack of manscaping. When a guy's private parts resemble a porn star's mustache from the 70's.
GF 1: "How was your date last night?"

GF2: "The date was fine until I found out he was sporting an epic crotchstache"

GF!: EWWWWWWWAH
crotchstache by jazzydiva August 3, 2011
Related Words

Crotchstacean 

A large group of mainly slippery sometimes slimy creatures that reside between a human females legs. Prone to drying out and becoming crusty of denied moisture. Commonly known as, Bearded Clam.
We better have sex right away, your crotchstacean feels a little dry.
Crotchstacean by cambo37 January 17, 2010

Crotchanky 

To place a piece of toilet paper or Kleenex in your gitch for pre-ejaculatory purposes.
Context: Hey, you packin your crotchanky?!
Crotchanky by Technukrainian March 3, 2011