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crasterful 

| CRAH-ster-full |

adjective
To be simultaneously crafty and masterful in an abundantly confident way.

(also: crastery, noun)
The act of being crasterful.

One is crasterful in an authentic way when one demonstrates the depth of one’s skills, knowledge, or experience. In this sense, the crasterful person is a true expert in his or her field and displays a justified level of assuredness.

One is crasterful in an inauthentic way when one fancies oneself knowledgeable but is actually full of shit. This is exemplified when one does not really know what one is talking about but arrogantly rambles on regardless.

Since being crasterful usually manifests itself in the form of explaining something in a very knowing, self-assured way, it can be difficult to discern precisely how knowledgeable the person actually is. While it can be prudent to attempt to determine the authenticity of one’s crastery, this is not always possible. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, crastery does not have inherently positive or negative connotations; rather, it is simply a descriptor that demonstrates someone is “in the zone,” even if that zone is incorrect.

Oftentimes crastery can be expressed nonverbally, usually by flashing a crasterful smile. This look simply says, “You should listen to me, because I know what I'm talking about.” The telltale signs of a crasterful smile are crooked smirks, raised eyebrows, and twinkling eyes. Slow nods are also common.
“My snowboard instructor has been giving me pointers, and thanks to her, I just rode my first black diamond run. I’m glad she’s so crasterful!”

“I am in absolute awe of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s scientific crastery.”

“Take it easy, buddy. I think you may be getting just a bit too crasterful for your own good.”

“In my opinion, Stephen Colbert is the epitome of political pundit crastery.”

“I was really crasterful while writing this definition for Urban Dictionary.”

“J.K. Simmons always gets typecast as ‘that crasterful guy,’ but he’s actually quite an accomplished actor.”

“That’s one hell of a crasterful smile you’re sporting. What’s the plan?”
crasterful by roxburyrob00 December 14, 2014
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crapeteria

A foul rank disgusting workplace cafeteria
Hey, wanna go get some rancid lunch in the crapeteria
crapeteria by steve austin July 20, 2004

Crapterglow 

A portmanteau of "crap" and "afterglow". Describes the feeling of satisfaction, relief, lightness and inner peace, that one only experiences after taking a massive crap.
Gallant: "Hey, you've been in there a pretty long time. Is everything OK?"

Goofus: "Yeah, I'm cool. Just basking in the crapterglow."
Crapterglow by Senor Fluffington December 3, 2009

crapsterbate

the act of taking a crap while masterbating to save time
computer nerds do it most often while taking a break from WOW or halo or any other of that stupid shit
marvin took a break to crapsterbate after four solid hours of unreal tournament
crapsterbate by mr.salty May 28, 2006

Crapsturbate 

Masturbate while taking a dump; Fapping and shitting at the same time.
The other day I was so horny that I decided to crapsturbate in the public bathroom.

Crapsturbate 

When you jack off to porn that involves, well, shit.
Ebby: 2 girls 1 cup always makes me crapsturbate.
Me: Well it always makes me throw up.
Crapsturbate by Tikibarberfan July 12, 2010
My craputer keeps crashing!
Craputer by dangerburger January 18, 2008