A depraved
sport enjoyed by bohemian arty types. The participants strip off and
stand facing each other. On the referee's word they "engage" their genitalia and commence a sickening battle of diseased phalluses. The depraved spectators roar their approval of every thrust and slap, quaffing champagne throughout the contest. The winner is determined after one hour of cockmanship by 3 judges who award points for artistry, scabbiness, and blood-drawing. The winner enjoys a golden shower from all present and gets to bugger the referee's spaniel. The
sport was named after Briggsy, the world's greatest arty
bender, who invented it whilst celebrating winning the Turner Prize for his sculpture of a gorilla fucking a shark to
death.