the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.
"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"
by stoak May 08, 2010
Top Definition
A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.
Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.
by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006
Someone who has a hammer, aka a big dick.
Girl 1: Dan is such a carpenter
Girl 2: Why is that?
Girl 1: He has a hammer!
Girl 2: A hammer?
Girl 1: Yeah, a big dick!!
by dudebrochillz April 28, 2011
A person who is a problem solver for a high class crime family, usually fixing said problems with the problem disappearing without a trace.
The carpenter mad Johnny the rat disappear.
by Stacy the Face February 11, 2011
A chick who is an expert at nailing wood. In other words, a prostitute.
I was just looking for some local "carpenters" online.
by Wallydon February 01, 2010
To be lil' spooned by a strange man with nothing on but boxers for an entire weekend.
Matt was carpentered while in San Diego.
by Cavalohan October 19, 2013
What Jesus did as his part time job lol
Jesus was good with handling wood lol him and his little fisher price carpenter toolkit
by Rupert "dong" Dupert December 14, 2007
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