15
Calculusinternet
The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"
Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*
by Tintintinny whatever February 06, 2011
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16
calculuscollege
A subject within mathematics usually taught in final years of high school that's overused by the media, as of 2008, to describe any circumstance where various decisions would result in various outcomes (which is true for any decision simple or complex).

Most often used in the phrase "....the calculus of..."
Article title: "The Calculus of Union Strikes"

"What do Steven Chu and John Holdren have to say about the calculus of corn-based ethanol, and its impact on biodiversity in farm country" from the NY Times

"The calculus of reward and punishment in this world is surely more complex than sin equals cancer." from MSNBC
by shgraider January 01, 2009
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17
Calculusinternet
Best thing since sex, possibly better
"Hey, dude, have you seen the calculus questions?"
"Yeah, I know, I just jizzed!"
"Me too."
by Gary Halsden October 27, 2009
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18
Another name for masturbating which is used as a joke or as a way to say it around other people without them knowing. This can get confusing when one person is actually taking a calc course. It must be used in entirety meaning calculus work and calc cannot be used in this way.
Dude - I really need to do some calculus tonight

Chick - So have you done your calculus yet?
Dude - Nope, you want to do some with me?
by SexyOffender April 06, 2010
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19
Calculus is a cruel and hard mistress. No one wants to do her because no one CAN do her. Except Chuck Norris. He can do her. Calculus is easy for him.
"Dude, did you do your calculus homework last night?"
"... We didn't have homework?"
"Chuck tester."
by DrakeS26 December 13, 2011
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20
It's a type of hard plaque generally found on teeth.
Dude, I've got calculus...
by A equals A April 12, 2005
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21
Calculus is a generic term referring to any form of mathematics which has axioms and at least one fundamental theory. Some examples of mathematics that can be categorized as calculus are: algebra, geometry, arithmetic, etc.

Due to corruption of the definition over time, in modern usage "calculus" almost exclusively refers to "The Calculus." The Calculus is also known as "Newton's Calculus," or "Leibniz’s Calculus" depending on who you ask. Mathematics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Leibniz’s Calculus" and physics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Newton's Calculus.”
Any Given Major: "I need help with my calculus homework."
Physics Major: "Are you referring to 'Newton's Calculus?'"
Math Major: "I think you mean 'Leibniz's Calculus'"
Physics Major: “No, I mean ‘Newton’s Calculus,’ because Newton slapped Leibniz around like a step-child at Wal*Mart.”
Math Major: sob sob
by Andrew April 04, 2005
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