15

The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"

Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*

by Tintintinny whatever
February 06, 2011

16

Another name for masturbating which is used as a joke or as a way to say it around other people without them knowing. This can get confusing when one person is actually taking a calc course. It must be used in entirety meaning calculus work and calc cannot be used in this way.

Dude - I really need to do some calculus tonight

Chick - So have you done your calculus yet?

Dude - Nope, you want to do some with me?

Chick - So have you done your calculus yet?

Dude - Nope, you want to do some with me?

by SexyOffender
April 06, 2010

17

This is the thing that puts all other maths to shame. It's do-able, just quite difficult.

I used to think math was easy. Then came calculus...

by Mathisfun...notreally
February 28, 2011

18

Calculus is a cruel and hard mistress. No one wants to do her because no one CAN do her. Except Chuck Norris. He can do her. Calculus is easy for him.

"Dude, did you do your calculus homework last night?"

"... We didn't have homework?"

"Chuck tester."

"... We didn't have homework?"

"Chuck tester."

by DrakeS26
December 13, 2011

19

legalized torture

The prisoners at Guantanamo Bay were subject to Calculus.

Subjecting people to Calculus should be considered a crime against humanity.

Subjecting people to Calculus should be considered a crime against humanity.

by nousernameidea
October 02, 2013

20

a chronic illness, usually fatal, caused by extreme stress continuous confusion; symptoms include palpitations of the heart and endless depression (dysthymia).

I feel like my head is gonna explode, this calculus is killing me.

by -C&C
February 24, 2011

21

Calculus is a generic term referring to any form of mathematics which has axioms and at least one fundamental theory. Some examples of mathematics that can be categorized as calculus are: algebra, geometry, arithmetic, etc.

Due to corruption of the definition over time, in modern usage "calculus" almost exclusively refers to "The Calculus." The Calculus is also known as "Newton's Calculus," or "Leibniz’s Calculus" depending on who you ask. Mathematics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Leibniz’s Calculus" and physics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Newton's Calculus.”

Due to corruption of the definition over time, in modern usage "calculus" almost exclusively refers to "The Calculus." The Calculus is also known as "Newton's Calculus," or "Leibniz’s Calculus" depending on who you ask. Mathematics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Leibniz’s Calculus" and physics majors tend to refer to The Calculus as "Newton's Calculus.”

Any Given Major: "I need help with my calculus homework."

Physics Major: "Are you referring to 'Newton's Calculus?'"

Math Major: "I think you mean 'Leibniz's Calculus'"

Physics Major: “No, I mean ‘Newton’s Calculus,’ because Newton slapped Leibniz around like a step-child at Wal*Mart.”

Math Major: sob sob

Physics Major: "Are you referring to 'Newton's Calculus?'"

Math Major: "I think you mean 'Leibniz's Calculus'"

Physics Major: “No, I mean ‘Newton’s Calculus,’ because Newton slapped Leibniz around like a step-child at Wal*Mart.”

Math Major: sob sob

by Andrew
April 04, 2005