1. Noun. An small furry animal that ignores you when you want to pet it, and bothers you endlessly when you're trying to get shit done, or when it's hungry. Cats are generally even tempered and calm. They spend most of their adult life sleeping and eating. Cats require little energy, as all they ask for is a bowl of food twice a day and a warm place to sleep. You do not need to walk a cat or spend hours a day spending time with it. Cats are excellent animals for dorm or apartment life, and are perfect for people with busy lifestyles. They adapt to change quickly and require little money to keep. Cats can reduce stress levels, as there is nothing more relaxing than watching and petting a warm, sleepy cat. If you do not feed your cat too much, it will also keep your home relatively free of vermin, including mice, rats, a few roaches, moths, flies, and anything else it can catch. Be warned though, cats have a genetic attraction to computer keyboards. They will often walk around/sleep on a keyboard, and have a tendency to push the delete or backspace button (A cat once deleted half my term paper by doing this.) However, the bad behaviors of a cat are greatly outnumbered by the good. A cat will bring 5 joys for every one mad (lolspeak). Many are in need of a good home, so please go get yourself a cat.
Mike: What the hell is that?
Steve: It's my cat dude.
Mike: Really? It's so quiet, compact and warm. I like it a lot.
Steve: Yeah, ever since I got this cat ladies love me, I get better grades, and my penis is bigger.
Mike: Wow! I think I'm gonna get a cat.
Steve: Be warned though. This cat deleted my Thesis paper on the Industrial Revolution
Mike: That's okay. The good points of a cat far outweigh the bad ones.
Steve: Damn Straight.
Calculus is a type of mathematics. It is very simple, once you learn this simple equation.
Learn Vocabulary+Read Problem+Set Up Problem+Magic=problem solved.
Joe: How'd you do on the Calculus exam?
Steve: It was easy, after I learned the simple equation that makes calculus a cinch.
Joe: Oh yeah, I really like how magic solves the problem
1. A very popular exclamation. Can be used in almost any situation.
2. The act of pooping
3. The poop itself
4. Something awesome
5. Shit can also refer to something very flammable and fun to burn while in the woods. Usually plant material, but sometimes dried shit(poo) can also be shit. This is ironic shit.
6. Whatever the fuck you want it to be.
1. Shit! It's due tommorow?!
2. Dude, I have to shit so bad. Why did I eat those brownies your crazy ex sent you...
3. Yeah I woke up and there was shit all over my bathroom. Never drinking after Indian food.
4. Dude this weed is the shit!
5. Hey Brian go get some more shit. The fire's dying.
I feel bad for what we did to the shit
tree, but man it was fun. I hope my
eyebrows grow back.
Vicodin is a prescription opiate painkiller typically prescribed for pain associated with surgery. When taken long term it can be very addictive.
When used as directed for pain, it does a very nice job of eliminating pain and producing a calm feeling that it both unobtrusive and pleasant.
When taken recreationally in low doses, a feeling of tiredness washes over one typically 1-2 hours after ingestion. If you lie down, you feel very understanding, calm, and may feel like you have the solution to every problem in the world. You will not be able to sleep, even though you feel very tired. Dry mouth often occurs, and a mild hangover is not uncommon.
When taken in high doses recreationally, an overpowering feeling of fatigue will force you to a bed or chair. An extremely strong wave of warmth and "fuzzy tinglies" wash over you. You feel like you have never been this stoned in your life. It will make you very stupid, and even unable to speak or think properly. A strong hangover will greet you the next day.
Warnings: In high doses, the acetominophen (tylenol) in vicodin is very toxic to your liver, so it's not a good idea to drink alcohol when under vicodin influence. Also, addiction to vicodin is not uncommon (anyone who's seen house knows what I mean). It can reduce your ability to do simple tasks, such as using the bathroom (I found that out the hard way). It is very fun though. Enjoy
Steve: Hey mike you got the vicodin?
Mike: Yeah man. You want a high or low dose?
Steve: I'm looking to be stoned dude. 8 pills please.
Mike: Here you go. I'll just take four.
Steve: See you in Mars dude.