A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.
1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"

2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."



1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"

2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."

1: "Brilliant!"
by Andreios April 01, 2009

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1.The branch of mathematics that is stereotypically recognized as being difficult and intimidating owing to the fact that it sounds like the word "calculator".
"Don't expect to pass calculus unless your mental math ability exceeds that of a TI-83"
by Tapier December 04, 2009

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Calculus is a type of mathematics. It is very simple, once you learn this simple equation.

Learn Vocabulary+Read Problem+Set Up Problem+Magic=problem solved.
Joe: How'd you do on the Calculus exam?

Steve: It was easy, after I learned the simple equation that makes calculus a cinch.

Joe: Oh yeah, I really like how magic solves the problem
by naylordude424 February 07, 2010

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A branch of mathematics that is only useful for people trying to enter into certain fields of work, for the rest, it's completely useless. Sadly, universities in the United States require people in fields that have nothing to do with math to take this class in order to graduate, thus lowering there gpa, and making them seem less qualified as a result of a poor mark in a class that has nothing to do with their future career.
Dick: Ahhhh, so stressed!!!
Jane: whats wrong?
Dick: Ah nothing, just gotta a lot of calculus homework
Jane: Why are you taking calculus, aren't you trying to become a physical therapist?
Dick: Ya I am, but I have to take calculus in order to graduate.
Jane: Wow, that makes no sense
by tikwah March 21, 2011

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Sorcery devised by Isaac Newton, one of the most prestigious and powerful sorcerers in the world.

The degree of a Calculus major higher than a Ph.D is a Doctorate of Sorcery (S.d)
When you need help in Calculus class you should look to your Sorcerer's Assistant for help.
by CalcS.d March 04, 2011

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Best thing since sex, possibly better
"Hey, dude, have you seen the calculus questions?"
"Yeah, I know, I just jizzed!"
"Me too."
by Gary Halsden October 27, 2009

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The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"
Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*
by Tintintinny whatever February 06, 2011

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