A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.
1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"

2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."

1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"

2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."

1: "Brilliant!"
by Andreios April 01, 2009
1.The branch of mathematics that is stereotypically recognized as being difficult and intimidating owing to the fact that it sounds like the word "calculator".
"Don't expect to pass calculus unless your mental math ability exceeds that of a TI-83"
by Tapier December 04, 2009
Calculus is a type of mathematics. It is very simple, once you learn this simple equation.

Learn Vocabulary+Read Problem+Set Up Problem+Magic=problem solved.
Joe: How'd you do on the Calculus exam?

Steve: It was easy, after I learned the simple equation that makes calculus a cinch.

Joe: Oh yeah, I really like how magic solves the problem
by naylordude424 February 07, 2010
A branch of mathematics that is only useful for people trying to enter into certain fields of work, for the rest, it's completely useless. Sadly, universities in the United States require people in fields that have nothing to do with math to take this class in order to graduate, thus lowering there gpa, and making them seem less qualified as a result of a poor mark in a class that has nothing to do with their future career.
Dick: Ahhhh, so stressed!!!
Jane: whats wrong?
Dick: Ah nothing, just gotta a lot of calculus homework
Jane: Why are you taking calculus, aren't you trying to become a physical therapist?
Dick: Ya I am, but I have to take calculus in order to graduate.
Jane: Wow, that makes no sense
by tikwah March 21, 2011
Sorcery devised by Isaac Newton, one of the most prestigious and powerful sorcerers in the world.

The degree of a Calculus major higher than a Ph.D is a Doctorate of Sorcery (S.d)
When you need help in Calculus class you should look to your Sorcerer's Assistant for help.
by CalcS.d March 04, 2011
Best thing since sex, possibly better
"Hey, dude, have you seen the calculus questions?"
"Yeah, I know, I just jizzed!"
"Me too."
by Gary Halsden October 27, 2009
A subject within mathematics usually taught in final years of high school that's overused by the media, as of 2008, to describe any circumstance where various decisions would result in various outcomes (which is true for any decision simple or complex).

Most often used in the phrase "....the calculus of..."
Article title: "The Calculus of Union Strikes"

"What do Steven Chu and John Holdren have to say about the calculus of corn-based ethanol, and its impact on biodiversity in farm country" from the NY Times

"The calculus of reward and punishment in this world is surely more complex than sin equals cancer." from MSNBC
by shgraider January 01, 2009

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