"I wouldn't be caught dead flirting with another woman's husband over the internet! I'm a Blue Neck!"
...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts, not road kill, Dummy!)
...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
...You don't know what a moon pie is. You have probably never watched a moon pie in a microwave.
...You've never had an RC Cola.
...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
...You have no idea what a polecat is.
..You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
.. You have never been hep'd.
...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach
...You have never gone to a family reunion to pick up women.
...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
...You couldn't find the eye of the stove if your life depended on it.
...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
..You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
..You call binoculars opera glasses.
...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
...You can't spit without opening your mouth.
...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Freddie, Johnnie, Jimmie, Ricki)
...You don't have Maw-maw's, Me-maws, Pawpaw's or Pappaw's.
...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
...None of your fur coats are homemade.