| 1. | auto erotic asphyxiation | ||
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Death/unconciousness as a result of any blockage of the windpipe during a sexual act. Usually when this phrase is used, it is in reference to something that proved to be fatal for the person involved.
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is not to be confused with strangulation methods that may heighten arousal in some individuals during sex. The act of asphyxiation involves either death or unconciousness. They found Senator Smith's body last week in the red light district. Apparently he died of auto erotic asphyxiation. The media will have a field day with this!
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| 2. | Auto-not-at-all-erotic asphyxiation | ||
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The act of suffocating one's self with a waist belt in such a way so as to guarantee the complete lack of sexual arousal. Stephen Colbert's Vasca line of pharmaceuticals, from Prescott Pharmaceuticals, is proud to introduce the Vasca Band. A belt that you place around your neck that constricts your esophagus to prevent finishing your entree and crushes your trachea so you can't order dessert.
Side effects of Vasca Band include: stoppedness of breath, facial bluing and auto-not-at-all-erotic asphyxiation. |
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| 3. | shut | ||
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To deposit semen via masturbation onto an inanimate object. Dude, Bobby was so worked up by those strippers that he went home and shut the sheets.
Man, I totally shut that old burned out Penthouse I found in your closet. |
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| 4. | pam | ||
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To engage in manual auto-arousal to ejaculation. ('Pam' being not a girl but the palm of one's hand.) I was just upstairs having sex with Pam.
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| 5. | Junebugging | ||
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A self mutilation and auto-erotic act involving the insect known as the junebug and favored by sado-masochistic homosexuals in the Southern states of North America.
The act requires an 8 ball of cocaine, whiskey a razor blade and a junebug. Mixing the whiskey and part of the cocaine together a desensitizing paste is created which is to be applied to a man's scrotum. One desensitized a razor blade is used to cut open the scrotum where junebugs are placed inside. The remaining cocaine is snorted to induce a euphoric high as the salve loses its desensitizing effect. One the man can feel the junebugs crawling around in his scrotum he will begin to masturbate to orgasm. Sometimes he may crush the junebugs in his scrotum due to the intense sexual arousal he feels. Dude, he's a sick motherfucker. He'll probably start Junebugging next.
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| 6. | cell-u-larogenouos | ||
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The act of achieving a heightened state of sexual arousal by placing your vibrating cell phone on or near any of either yours or your partner's erogenous zones. I have to say that my girlfriend is one of the most cell-u-larogenous people I know. She knows just when and where to place her vibrating cell phone on my body.
I was so lonely the other night, I had to get cell-u-larogenouos. |
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| 7. | Game-Boner | ||
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When the excitement of an upcoming video game release is so overpowering it generates feelings of arousal. Symptoms include: Pre-Orders, calendar reminders, scheduled days off, repetitive trailer watching, rescheduling important life events and the ending of relationships. If your game-boner lasts more than 4 hours please consult a physician. Dave: Did you see that trailer for the new Grand Theft Auto? It looks awesome!
Erik: Check my pants bro. I'm sportin' a major Game-Boner. |
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