Allegorical Wank 

Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.

See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.

Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.

Allegorical Wank by Theilliterate June 28, 2023

Allegorical 

1. To come second
2. To loose inspire of being up against an inbred sub-normal opponent

Derived from Al Gore, specifically his performance in the US Presidential Elections where he came second to George W. Bush.

It's because you're allegorical mate.

Allegorical by McSpoon.. May 30, 2010

Allegrolistic 

Comes from the musical term "Allegro". Basically meaning neutral and flexible.

P1: Wanna hang Saturday.
P2: Sure, my schedules Allegrolistic.
P1: Great, see ya then.

Allegrolistic by Cellalola August 1, 2011

allegoric

When every time you drink soda you literally can’t move bc you stomach is trying to explode out all holes.... RIP

I’m like allegoric to soda or sum shit cause every time I take a sip of that shit I can’t even move bc of my stomach is boutta erupt.

allegoric by ToughLuckChuck March 12, 2020