| 1. | Christmas | ||
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Christmas:
Let me 'splain: Christmas like autobus. Autobus go forward, Christmas stop. Christmas go forward, autobus stop. Is simple no? Let me 'splain again: Christmas like autobus. Christmas stop, autobus go forward. Autobus go forward Christmas go backward. Is simple no? You still don't get it? Let me 'esplain, is simple. Autobus go backward Christmas stop. Christmas go forward autobus go backward. Is simple no? Still having touble my friend? Is simple. Like I already 'splain. Christmas like autobus. Autobus stop, Christmas stop. Autobus go forward, Christmas go backward. You still no get? You sure you not just having the joke with me? It's so simple. Even a child get it. Christmas like autobus that go forward and backward, then Autobus stop. Simple no? No Kwanza, autobus. Stop going forward. Go back now. Is simple. Even child get it if you stoping having joke with me. Yule, Yuletide, Winterfest, Comercial Season that steals your very soul. Pigtime.
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| 2. | Christmas | ||
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syn. to Yule/Yuletide, originally a pagan holiday incorporated into the Christian religion to ease the shock of converting the pagans. jesus was born around april 19th. In order to convert the germanic huns, jesus was portrayed as a warrior, in order to convert the romans, he was displayed as a kind but fierce saint. in both instances holidays were absorbed into the christian religion so that the new converts would not have to rememorize holidays and festivals.
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| 3. | yuligan | ||
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(yule-igg-in): A Christmas-time hooligan; one who commits mischief during Christmas-time. Derived from the words "yule" (or "yuletide") and "hooligan". "That blasted yuligan pilfered my favorite wrapping paper! Now mother's gift shall never be wrapped adequately!"
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| 4. | hallowthanksmas | ||
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the 'holiday' season. It begins with Halloween, morphs into Thanksgiving and ends with the Festival of lights, which may be Christmas, Hanukkah, Yuletide, Kwanza, or Festivus. Happy Hallowthanksmas beeotch! I'm so glad it's over.
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| 5. | Christmahanukkwandiwalstice | ||
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A combination of Christmas (Christianity), Hanukkah (Judaism), Kwanzaa (Pan-Africanism), Diwali (Hinduism) and the Winter Solstice (other/none); a general term for holidays in December. More politically correct than Christmahanukkwanzaa, Christmahanukkwanztice and Christmakkah, but less politically correct than Christmahanukkwanzadandiwalstice (Christmas + Hannukah + Kwanzaa + Ramadan + Diwali + Solstice) and Christmahanukkwanzadandiwalstiledos (all that with Kaledos tacked onto the end for those Lithuanian reconstructionists). Me: Happy/Merry Christmahanukkwandiwalstice!
Normal Person: What the hell? |
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| 6. | yuletard | ||
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The name given to the perennial Christmas cretin who, much to your shivering dismay, persists in overbearing, glib and frequently forceful Christmas related antics, throughout the whole of December. They are usually to be found in the workplace, probably nearest to the radio which will be blaring Yuletardenous songs of redundant festive delight, whilst they don their sparkly fucking reindeer antlers and gibber about how fucking lovely it all is.
Meanwhile an insignificant and tremendously vapid war of who can send their Christmas cards around the office first wages. Yuletards! A few common examples of the behaviour of a yuletard (of which there are MANY, go on, I bet you know lots too):-
Turning the radio up at work when a Christmas song comes on; enjoying it; making reference to it; wearing fucking ironic Christmas headwear about it; displaying every fucking Christmas light you've ever seen outside their house which, unbeknownst to them, only really serves to advertise to potential burglars that 'hey, if we've got money to throw away on shitty Christmas lights and huge santas, imagine what presents you could steal'; discussing in minute detail every trail and fucking tribulation of their cretinous Christmas shopping expedition, right down to where they had their dinner; turning up for work in their woefully embarassing santa's little helper outift; banging on and fucking on and on and on about every little thing they are going to do, see, eat, wear, watch, drink, say over Christmas, thus sucking any possible pleasure to be had out of the occasion for them and every poor sod in earshot, including me, hence this. |
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