Stephen Colbert is the name of a white man who attempted to rape me last night. He told me he was famous when I met him at the bar. I didn't recognize him. I don't have a television. He explained that he was kind of a big deal... When I seemed genuinely uninterested in this shallow show biz clown, he got angry. Next thing I know he smashes his beer bottle on my head and I wake up bound and gagged in some sketchy warehouse setting. He's dressed up in an all American Evil Knievel suit with his erect penis exposed. He's stroking his knob and somehow has morphed his voice to sound like the dude from Saw. He then proclaims "How would you like to participate in some Canadian History no television boy?!" I was slightly alarmed to say the least. Fearing for my own safety I quickly untied my hands, removed the duct tape from my mouth and then pulled Colbert's jersey over his head and knocked him out with an upper cut. I then went back to the bar for last call. What a bizarre experience... Not sure what television program this Colbert is involved with but beware his 'Canadian History' rape fetish.
I was drinking at the bar last night when Steven Colbert hit me over the head with a beer bottle because I didn't know who he was. He then attempted to perform some bizarre rape ritual know as the 'Canadian History' to me as I was bound and gagged. I escaped and lived to tell the tale.

Bartender: Colbert tried to rape you?

Me: Yeah.

Bartender: That's fucking crazy dude. Here, the next round is on me.

Me: Thanks bartender. I sure need a drink after escaping that attempted rape by Stephen Colbert.
by gayne wretzky February 17, 2010
Top Definition
Stephen T. Colbert, more widely known as Stephen Colbear (The T's are silent, and they stand for truth!) He is the O'Reilly-esque host of the Colbert Report, Comedy Central's response to media pundits, mostly Bill O'Reilly because he is easy to satirize.
Stephen Colbert: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! But I've got oven mits. This is the Colbert Report.
by James Johnson November 22, 2005
The most geniunely courageous and intelligent All-American HERO.
A former correspondant of Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show", he was so great that he was given a spin-off show that ended up being just about as successful. Called "The Colbert Report", the show centres around an illogical right-wing egomaniac who attempts to deliver the news with a splash of truthiness.

Colbert was the entertainer for the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. There, only a few feet away from the President George W. Bush himself, Colbert gave a comedy routine reminiscent of his familiar fake news program. The hilarious speech was actually a thinly veiled attack on Bush's administration, and though faced with an expectedly unreceptive audience, Colbert charmed and awed his supporters at home.
His great bravery was exemplified that day, broadcast nationwide on C-SPAN, though barely mentioned by the media the next morn - because of the fact that Colbert had criticised them in his speech.

Colbert is seen as a true hero for his courage, a great comedian for his wit, and a genius for his biting logic.
Charlene: I love Stephen Colbert.
Jane: He's gorgeous.
Liesel: Not just that. He's the greatest American hero alive.
Charlene: That's why I love him.
by Kerilyn May 30, 2006
1. God
2. Host of the absolute best show on television: The Colbert Report
3. Inventor of the word truthiness
There was this one time when I was dreaming about banging Stephen Colbert, but then I realized that I'd never be worthy.
by CMurr February 27, 2006
Stephen Colbert is a "fake" news anchor on the hit news comedy show, The Daily Show. As of Monday, October 17th, 2005, Stephen has his own show, The Colbert Report.
Stephen Colbert is TEH BEST EVAR!!
by SubKamran October 11, 2005
He is America. (And so can you!)
"Do you know Stephen Colbert?"
"Oh yeah. He's America!"
by njm222 September 20, 2009
Stephen Colbert is one of the greatest comedians and entertainers alive. He is the host of the Colbert Report, and was jabbing at running for presidential office 08'. If Stephen Colbert ran for pres 08 it would probably off throw the election drastically, and would probably end badly. He would probably be the most influential candidate of the 2008 election because he is so idealized by America, and myself.
Hell, if Stephen Colbert ran, I would vote for him over any of these yahoo's. He cant tell a lie.
by The Big Tipper November 09, 2007
Fictional charater played by Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report.
That's not really Stephen Colbert, he's just playing the part of Stephen Colbert
by Action Steve December 07, 2006
Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from We'll never spam you.