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24.
Stephen Colbert is the name of a white man who attempted to rape me last night. He told me he was famous when I met him at the bar. I didn't recognize him. I don't have a television. He explained that he was kind of a big deal... When I seemed genuinely uninterested in this shallow show biz clown, he got angry. Next thing I know he smashes his beer bottle on my head and I wake up bound and gagged in some sketchy warehouse setting. He's dressed up in an all American Evil Knievel suit with his erect penis exposed. He's stroking his knob and somehow has morphed his voice to sound like the dude from Saw. He then proclaims "How would you like to participate in some Canadian History no television boy?!" I was slightly alarmed to say the least. Fearing for my own safety I quickly untied my hands, removed the duct tape from my mouth and then pulled Colbert's jersey over his head and knocked him out with an upper cut. I then went back to the bar for last call. What a bizarre experience... Not sure what television program this Colbert is involved with but beware his 'Canadian History' rape fetish.
I was drinking at the bar last night when Steven Colbert hit me over the head with a beer bottle because I didn't know who he was. He then attempted to perform some bizarre rape ritual know as the 'Canadian History' to me as I was bound and gagged. I escaped and lived to tell the tale.

Bartender: Colbert tried to rape you?

Me: Yeah.

Bartender: That's fucking crazy dude. Here, the next round is on me.

Me: Thanks bartender. I sure need a drink after escaping that attempted rape by Stephen Colbert.
by gayne wretzky February 17, 2010
 
1.
Stephen T. Colbert, more widely known as Stephen Colbear (The T's are silent, and they stand for truth!) He is the O'Reilly-esque host of the Colbert Report, Comedy Central's response to media pundits, mostly Bill O'Reilly because he is easy to satirize.
Stephen Colbert: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! But I've got oven mits. This is the Colbert Report.
by James Johnson November 22, 2005
 
2.
The most geniunely courageous and intelligent All-American HERO.
A former correspondant of Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show", he was so great that he was given a spin-off show that ended up being just about as successful. Called "The Colbert Report", the show centres around an illogical right-wing egomaniac who attempts to deliver the news with a splash of truthiness.

Colbert was the entertainer for the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. There, only a few feet away from the President George W. Bush himself, Colbert gave a comedy routine reminiscent of his familiar fake news program. The hilarious speech was actually a thinly veiled attack on Bush's administration, and though faced with an expectedly unreceptive audience, Colbert charmed and awed his supporters at home.
His great bravery was exemplified that day, broadcast nationwide on C-SPAN, though barely mentioned by the media the next morn - because of the fact that Colbert had criticised them in his speech.

Colbert is seen as a true hero for his courage, a great comedian for his wit, and a genius for his biting logic.
Charlene: I love Stephen Colbert.
Jane: He's gorgeous.
Liesel: Not just that. He's the greatest American hero alive.
Charlene: That's why I love him.
by Kerilyn May 30, 2006
 
3.
1. God
2. Host of the absolute best show on television: The Colbert Report
3. Inventor of the word truthiness
There was this one time when I was dreaming about banging Stephen Colbert, but then I realized that I'd never be worthy.
by CMurr February 27, 2006
 
4.
Stephen Colbert is a "fake" news anchor on the hit news comedy show, The Daily Show. As of Monday, October 17th, 2005, Stephen has his own show, The Colbert Report.
Stephen Colbert is TEH BEST EVAR!!
by SubKamran October 11, 2005
 
5.
a person with a really funny show and acts republican to make fun of republicans
i watched the colbert report yesterday hosted by stephen colbert
by alex14 July 13, 2006
 
6.
The funniest comedian on TV right now (2006). Every since Dave Chappelle gave up his show, Colbert moved right in.
Stephen Colbert, "I'm not a fan of facts. I go with my gut."
by JBHardman August 11, 2006
 
7.
the host of the colbert report, one of the two funniest people in the world, along with jon stewart
stephen colbert is fucking funny
by guitarist1 November 21, 2006