Bartender: Colbert tried to rape you?
Bartender: That's fucking crazy dude. Here, the next round is on me.
Me: Thanks bartender. I sure need a drink after escaping that attempted rape by Stephen Colbert.
A former correspondant of Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show", he was so great that he was given a spin-off show that ended up being just about as successful. Called "The Colbert Report", the show centres around an illogical right-wing egomaniac who attempts to deliver the news with a splash of truthiness.
Colbert was the entertainer for the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. There, only a few feet away from the President George W. Bush himself, Colbert gave a comedy routine reminiscent of his familiar fake news program. The hilarious speech was actually a thinly veiled attack on Bush's administration, and though faced with an expectedly unreceptive audience, Colbert charmed and awed his supporters at home.
His great bravery was exemplified that day, broadcast nationwide on C-SPAN, though barely mentioned by the media the next morn - because of the fact that Colbert had criticised them in his speech.
Colbert is seen as a true hero for his courage, a great comedian for his wit, and a genius for his biting logic.
Jane: He's gorgeous.
Liesel: Not just that. He's the greatest American hero alive.
Charlene: That's why I love him.