Top definition
A person person who is a complete fucking muppet, or a retard.
You mate, are a complete fu'kin spanner. Youre one apple short of an orchard.
by Dave September 25, 2003
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2
You're such a bloody spanner
by el January 07, 2005
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3
1. noun: someone who really fucks things up - derived from the term "spanner in the works".
Dude, if you weren't such a spanner, things'd still be alright now.
by Ryan Paine December 27, 2007
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4
Euphemistic swear word, used to avoid giving offence, especially when need arises to curse in front of children.

Derived from the idiom that when something goes wrong it is known as 'throwing a spanner in the works".
by Lord Lucan September 04, 2010
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5
"You're such a spanner!"
by - August 04, 2002
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6
Spanner wrench - a special wrench used in the fire service to assist in decoupling fire hoses.
Yo.. Rookie.. get the spanner off the engine.
by Craig October 21, 2003
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7
A large shit whose length spans at least the circumference of the inside of the toilet bowl. Extreme relief usually accompanies release of a spanner, as does the occasional bloody anus, sudden weight loss and clogged toilet.

Mass consumption of sunflower seed shells can turn an ordinary spanner into a mace spanner. Resembling the spiky medieval weapon, mace spanners should be avoided at all costs.
"I just ate 4 bowls of granola. There's gonna be a spanner in the toilet tomorrow, I tell you."

Tom:"Dude, I just shat out a wingless 747."
Ron:"No, Tom, you shat a spanner. Good for you. Now unclog the toilet."

Ron:"I told you should have spit out all those sunflower seed shells, Tom."
Tom:"Fuck you, Ron. My intestines are being shredded as we speak. It's only a matter of time before this mace spanner turns my butthole into a bloody, fleshy origami fortune teller"
by Larsone April 18, 2010
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