Porter is a term used to describe a person who is extremely into himself and his ego. A porter will often act this way due to a deep down insecurity with himself, and feels he must equal himself to others by only talking about himself. Most porters are retarded, but most of the time act very intellectual, even if what they are saying makes no sense whatsoever. A porter will most likely find one place in the world to make his name, then obsess over the place forever, and when leaving this place, will realize his flaws and immediately seek out a way to return. A porter will usually have others help him succeed, then brag about the accomplishments for the longest time. Most porters will become addicts of some sort (pain killers, cocaine, meth, etc.) in order to increase his social reputation. In most cases studied, a porter will one day realize he is very insignificant in the world and will ultimately fail in life. This day is known as "AP-Day" in a porter's life, which of course stands for "accepting pathetic-ness day". Many modern day porters have been known to use online social networks as a gateway to increase their ego by "news feed whoring", or involving himself in every post in his newsfeed, thinking he is friends with everyone. To be a porter is a sad, sad thing indeed.
Jacob: "Is that kid really bragging about how his dad got him accepted to that college?"

Jim: "Thats not even the worst part, that kid has literally been raping my news feed for the past 3 months only talking about himself!"

Jacob: "What a fuckin Porter."

Jim: "I couldn't have said it better myself."
by A.Boston.P December 13, 2010
Top Definition
To be Porter'ed

Having the night of your life with someone that you have feelings for but who makes it abundantly clear that nothing will ever happen.
Why is she crying in her dorm room?

She just got Porter'ed
by Jimbo Jacoby February 04, 2010
A helpful, generous, all around nice person (generous, helpful coming from a porter - helper in a hotel)

a great friend and the person to hang with
wow I wish i was good friends with that Porter!

He is such a Porter! I should spend more time with him.
by modiee November 18, 2011
Guy with a huge crank who knows how to bruise up a cervix. Girls typically get addicted to said crank more violently than CRACK.
Girl #1. Why are you limping?
Girl #2. My vagina feels like I fell asleep on the railroad tracks spread eagle!
Girl #1. Sounds like you got Porter-ed! Lucky! lol!
Girl #2. How did you know????? lol!
Girl #1. Cause my ass feels like I was sitting on the space shuttle when it launched! lol!
Girl #2. We're dumb sluts! lol!
Girl #1. I know right! Let's get drunk and call him!
by Hugh Jesty Rection January 28, 2011
a sexy, smart, nice person, who is a non stop party goer, who has many friends, who laughs a lot, is always happy, and makes a lot of jokes.
That girl is smart and sexy she must be a Porter.
by Zulily April 25, 2013
A traditional dark beer style originating from London.Its popularity amongst dock porters is believed to have led its name.The now much more widely known stout is a type of porter.
pint of porter please landlord
by toymi69 May 29, 2008
This guy is quite literally one of the best people you will ever meet in your life. He has a great sense of humor and will laugh with you for hours. There is a specific amount of people that he cares about and if you are one of those people, he makes you feel very special. Not only does he have the best personality but he is one of those "really attractive without even trying" people. He is really sexy! But also cuddly and cute.

I'm sure you can be as lucky as i am and meet a Porter.
Girl 1: Oh, i just got the most amazing message from Porter

Girl 2: You're friends with a Porter?!

Girl 1: Yeah! Aren't Porters just the best?

Girl 2: They're hot too!
by Blue Eren June 19, 2016
Porter, v.

The act of vomiting after a night of excessive drinking. Coined in Liverpool, UK.
Joey: So how was Javier's party last night?
Greg: Good, except that one Asian porter'd all over the place.
Philip: I think that I'm going to porter tonight.

Simone: This one time when I got so drunk, I portered all over the place and got engaged to some guy I was drinking with.
by Erasmus Boyband September 10, 2011
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