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34.
The Central-European Empire of the Sausage.

An acient land rumored to be one of the three founding nations of the Sausage. The other two are Germany and Italy.

Central European because it's stuck between russia (a land of non- or at best lame sausage, hence should not be capitalized until they grow-up) and Germany.

Polish may be easy or hard to learn, Polish sausages may be mild or hard to digest.

Economy: The sausage, though important to the Euro-barbarian identity, is sadly enough not the main export, coal is pretty big and cars there are really cheap.
Travelling Americans using the USD currency may not be able to enjoy the same purchasing power as that of the European (a.k.a Superman Sausage God), for now. It is rumored (and highly believable) that the main economic reasons for this are:
1)dubya
2)your weak girle-man "hot-dogs" and other flowery "animal/soy bi-product." "diet" along with gray "fast-food beef"
3)taxes, bich!

Once bush summarily executed and taxes levied against the government with the penalty of death by meat-processing, the once proud nation of Sausage and various TRUE-meat products, the United-States-of-America, will annex a de-socialized Canada (another bunch of over-taxed Meat Lovers) in a cooperative rule of the wold with the Sausage-Lover Nations of Europe, called NASO: North Atlantic Sausage Organization (or more fondly: Not Another Sausage! OMFG!)
The G8 will become the Many-S (Many Sausages), Japan will not feel left out since they like beef and pork now.

But I digress. The capital of Poland is Warsawa (Warsaw), though I'm from Poznan (Pozen).

Population:
Polish chicks are hot, so stay the fuck away from them, unless you're willing to make a hot chick trade.

There's about 38-40 million over there, with no mexican border jumpers to shoot at.

Jews might exist there, but we only like the ones that eat sausage.

We've got a couple of muslims, but they're still kinda wierd, and they're not exactly sausage lovers. Maybe we'll all get along some day.

Gays. They like sausage, which is why we think they're o.k., but gay.

Gastronomy:
Triple-dare...

Sausage! Spuds (though the Irish might be better developped there, and btw, send us your cute Irish women). COLESLAW! The other white treat! Dill pickles. A must have with sausage. Although either can be had alone, the combination is actually a universal nexus of power, potatoes can make you drowsy, rest is needed to absorb nutrients. Beer, western cars, Kalashnikov-based rifles and other cool stuff you can use on animals, government employees, straight-edge types, etc.

History: In aobut 965 AD., Poland was christened. Before that we probably broke-off from some German tribe. We got invaded a couple of times, but we kicked back and killed a lot of people.
In 1989 we finally sent those sad russians back home where they can enjoy baked onions with a side of ognion forever.
Solidartity was the worker's union party that led us out of the commie dark ages, but Walensa (unfortunately the idiot peasnat leader, not quire representing the oppressed masses) proved to be a bad case of Retarded so we eventually voted him out.
Since, Poles decided to become a buncha greedy card carrying capitalists and threaten to eat the entire Italian communist/socialist party(and our own too, not to discriminate) for supper.
Freedom brought us higher prices, but whatever.
We joined nato in '99, which kind of looks like a bunch of sausages rolled-up (and so does the 8 in '89).

Religion:Ugh, roman catholic. The Pope is Polish, NO LIE, and he probably sneaks in some sausage via the Vatican's spy network, reputed to be the largest, and more annoying then the Mossad and NSA.
Capitalism will probably bring in mass-seularity in the elite and the middle classes who will continue to promote wearing tight jeans and a form controlled sausage consumption(The Way of the Sausage)so you don't get all fat and shit.

Geology:
Lowlands and fields in the central region excellent for raising cattle, grains, vegetables and fruit, all necessary to produce guess what, sausage.
Lake-region in the upper-east, virgin forest to the east, Tatran mountains to the south, Sudetten mountains to the south West, hilly up North.
A bunch of rivers, namely the Vistula and the Oder (they just scream "sausage" don't they, huh?).

Culture:
We're quite developped really, most of us had no intention of being a bunch of proletarians. We've got it all and it's growing, and if you don't quite get your fill, you can always find some place with some sausage.

Language: Duh. Polish. Some German and Russian, mainly as secondary languages.

That's about all, for now anyway.
Johnny: Hey! I hear bush forgot about Poland!
Ziggy:Yeah, but we voted nearly 60% against invading. Anyway, Bush's daughters are bunch of inbred-redneck devil worshipping alcoholoics, and the one that looks like daddy doesn't like sausage.
Johnny: I know. Goddamit! I knew we ought to eliminate taxes, annex Canada and join Europe to form one happy steak/burger/sausage-loving world and shit on non-believers.
Ziggy: Fuck yeah! Sausage!
Johnny: Looking up with his right hand patriotically over his heart: "Sau-sage..."
Ziggy:"..."
Johnny: "Burgers too man!"
Jan:"Hell yeah!!"
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1.
An Eastern European country whose inhabitants, contrary to popular opinon, are NOT DUMB. Polish citizens, in fact, have won Nobel Peace Prizes in every category, and Polish scientists, philosophers, explorers, and mathematicians have made numerous beneficial contributions to their respective fields (ultraviolet light; the set theory; semantic language theory). Marie Curie (née Sklodowska), the esteemed chemist, was a Pole. Poland also, naturally, has the most attractive women.
Poland used to possess the most powerful army in Europe.
by N.B. November 01, 2003
4047 755
 
2.
...and remember: during the Second World War Poland was occupied by nazi Germany, and germans, not poles, build concentration camps (like Auschwitz-Birkenau) on polish soil to kill jews and polish in the act of genocide. THOSE WERE GERMAN CONCENTRATION CAMPS, NOT POLISH!
Over 2,000,000 jews and polish were murdered in Auschwitz-Birkenau by germans.
by indigo February 15, 2005
2586 379
 
3.

For all of those who don't know anything about Poland here is something i learned about it myself:

Counrty located in excact center of geographical Europe. Borders in the west with Germany, Czech Rep. and Slovakia in the South, Ukraine , Beleruss and Latvia on the East.
Polish people, according to the studies, are the most intellingent population in Europe thanks to their great, yet strickt, educational system.
Though the government and economic situation are not in the best shape, Poland made lots of significant changes in their 14 years of transision time. Great country to make investmentsdue to their friendly foreign trade and investment policies.

Poland have in majority friendly citizens, crime is significant low compared to other countries, yet POLAND is number one counry in Europe with the biggest auto theft.

Poland is about to join the European Union in MAy 2004 hoping for new bussines oppurtunities.
Poland is part of NATO, since 1999.
Poles have one of the best Navy in Europe, precised air force, but non uptaded army. Home of the best special forces in Europe called GROM.

I visit this county three times already , and myself being born in Switzerland i have to say that i give them props for building their country the way they are, eversince they changed their government to democratic.


And yes, those Polish girls are hot!!
Poland is the a brave counrty with very long history.
by Martin Gonczarstein November 09, 2003
2141 388
 
4.
Wonderful country in eastern Europe. Good food also. Some of the most intelligent people I know are from poland. Very nice country.
Polish chicks are hot
by australian February 27, 2005
1861 303
 
5.
The first country to defeat the Soviet Union in war. The country that defeated the Teutonic knights, ending German supremacy for hundreds of years. The occupied nation with the largest Nazi resistance movement in World War II. The first Eastern Bloc country to break free of communism. The second country in the world with a written constitution (after the U.S.), and the first in Europe.

Not to mention their rather extremely beautiful women.
I'm not Polish, but they've got one of the most interesting histories in the world.
by mtrisk July 22, 2005
1513 238
 
6.
Poland is a great country. And for those people think it takes three of them screw in a light bulb, well... you're wrong. Poland has provided many intelligent people to the world.
Although i was born in America, i have 100% Polish blood, and I'm proud of it.

-And the girls really are hot-
by Kielbasa April 19, 2004
1500 283
 
7.
Something that John Kerry forgot.
George W. Bush: He forgot Poland.
by TheEye5000 February 08, 2005
1026 241