A small country in central Europe.

Come to us!
Your car is already here.

Why so many Poles go to Great Britain?
'Cause they're clever enough to earn money in GB and spend it in PL.
Jokes about Poland are as true as Copernicus was a woman.

"Przyjedz do nas, twoj samochod jest juz tutaj od dawna!" by Kult 12 Groszy
by daggisa April 21, 2008
Little weak defenseless land sandwhiched between superpowers Germany and Russia. The Germans and the Soviets fought for control of this land during WWI, and the Polish acted as a high school girl who would go home with the jock who won the fight. They have been punked by Germany and Russia throughout their existence. They once tried to rebel against the Soviet Union but were bitch slapped before they even had a chance to speak and forced to get on their knees, beg for forgiveness, kiss the Soviets feet and swear their loyalty to the Warsaw Pact. They can also be compared to the weak little nerd in high school that gets bullied by the cool kids.
Your brother took your car and your girl? Man are you from Poland or something?
by Chriscoolkatt May 14, 2010
Poland is best known for its range of smoked meats, cured fish and the booming trade of sexual minors.

Prostitutes retire a at the age of 12 to work in one of the many sausage factories that dot the country side. It is at this stage that Polish females gain most of their 'winter weight', before they make the slow transition to a 'breeder'. Females who have reached the breeder stage are expected to give birth to no fewer than 8 children, all of whom will be blessed with certain forms or retardation.

Polish women are owned by a male or "Sausage Dick". The male is responsible for the sexual abuse of his children. Only when the children are strong enough to rape their father are they permitted to leave the family home and start their own families. Often, children of the same family will interbreed, ensuring that strong bloodlines continue for generations.

The Polish people are responsible for some of the greatest innovations in human history. The Poles actually invented the wheel of cheese before inventing the wheel, they also pioneered the cheese filled cheese.

Polish humour has a reputation that stretches far beyond its borders. Common themes of polish humour include rape, rape of minors, rape of livestock and rape of one's mother.

Poland also invests heavily in future national development. A swimming pool was recently dug in the capital city of Warsaw and the polish space programme made the recent purchase of a small minivan in relatively good condition.
A traditional Polish Joke:

POLE 1: I've killed so many jew's id rather be raping my daughter!

POLE 2: Not if i rape my daughter first

A typical Polish Conversation:

Polish Rapist 1: Poland is the greatest nation on the planet.
Polish Rapist 2: Yes it is!
Polish Rapist 3: Hey, whats going on with you guy's.
Polish Rapist 1: Not much... Wanna rape something.
Polish Rapist 2 & 3: Yeah sounds good (High-fiving)
Polish Rapist 3: Hey, can my cousin come... HEY PETER!
Polish Rapist 4: Hey fella's i'm Peter.
by stewdog85 May 09, 2011
1. The Mexico of Europe
2. A land essentially made of fields of Poles, making it extremely profitable during times of Festivus.
3. The country in Eastern Europe shaped like a slice of bread with the bottom left bitten off by the bitches down in Czechoslovakia.
4. Where half of all Chicagoans originated from.
5. World's supplier of Pierogis, Sausage, and Bigos.
We took all our stuff and moved from Poland to America to get some jobs.
by Rusty Shackleford the Eleventh January 22, 2009
The Central-European Empire of the Sausage.

An acient land rumored to be one of the three founding nations of the Sausage. The other two are Germany and Italy.

Central European because it's stuck between russia (a land of non- or at best lame sausage, hence should not be capitalized until they grow-up) and Germany.

Polish may be easy or hard to learn, Polish sausages may be mild or hard to digest.

Economy: The sausage, though important to the Euro-barbarian identity, is sadly enough not the main export, coal is pretty big and cars there are really cheap.
Travelling Americans using the USD currency may not be able to enjoy the same purchasing power as that of the European (a.k.a Superman Sausage God), for now. It is rumored (and highly believable) that the main economic reasons for this are:
2)your weak girle-man "hot-dogs" and other flowery "animal/soy bi-product." "diet" along with gray "fast-food beef"
3)taxes, bich!

Once bush summarily executed and taxes levied against the government with the penalty of death by meat-processing, the once proud nation of Sausage and various TRUE-meat products, the United-States-of-America, will annex a de-socialized Canada (another bunch of over-taxed Meat Lovers) in a cooperative rule of the wold with the Sausage-Lover Nations of Europe, called NASO: North Atlantic Sausage Organization (or more fondly: Not Another Sausage! OMFG!)
The G8 will become the Many-S (Many Sausages), Japan will not feel left out since they like beef and pork now.

But I digress. The capital of Poland is Warsawa (Warsaw), though I'm from Poznan (Pozen).

Polish chicks are hot, so stay the fuck away from them, unless you're willing to make a hot chick trade.

There's about 38-40 million over there, with no mexican border jumpers to shoot at.

Jews might exist there, but we only like the ones that eat sausage.

We've got a couple of muslims, but they're still kinda wierd, and they're not exactly sausage lovers. Maybe we'll all get along some day.

Gays. They like sausage, which is why we think they're o.k., but gay.


Sausage! Spuds (though the Irish might be better developped there, and btw, send us your cute Irish women). COLESLAW! The other white treat! Dill pickles. A must have with sausage. Although either can be had alone, the combination is actually a universal nexus of power, potatoes can make you drowsy, rest is needed to absorb nutrients. Beer, western cars, Kalashnikov-based rifles and other cool stuff you can use on animals, government employees, straight-edge types, etc.

History: In aobut 965 AD., Poland was christened. Before that we probably broke-off from some German tribe. We got invaded a couple of times, but we kicked back and killed a lot of people.
In 1989 we finally sent those sad russians back home where they can enjoy baked onions with a side of ognion forever.
Solidartity was the worker's union party that led us out of the commie dark ages, but Walensa (unfortunately the idiot peasnat leader, not quire representing the oppressed masses) proved to be a bad case of Retarded so we eventually voted him out.
Since, Poles decided to become a buncha greedy card carrying capitalists and threaten to eat the entire Italian communist/socialist party(and our own too, not to discriminate) for supper.
Freedom brought us higher prices, but whatever.
We joined nato in '99, which kind of looks like a bunch of sausages rolled-up (and so does the 8 in '89).

Religion:Ugh, roman catholic. The Pope is Polish, NO LIE, and he probably sneaks in some sausage via the Vatican's spy network, reputed to be the largest, and more annoying then the Mossad and NSA.
Capitalism will probably bring in mass-seularity in the elite and the middle classes who will continue to promote wearing tight jeans and a form controlled sausage consumption(The Way of the Sausage)so you don't get all fat and shit.

Lowlands and fields in the central region excellent for raising cattle, grains, vegetables and fruit, all necessary to produce guess what, sausage.
Lake-region in the upper-east, virgin forest to the east, Tatran mountains to the south, Sudetten mountains to the south West, hilly up North.
A bunch of rivers, namely the Vistula and the Oder (they just scream "sausage" don't they, huh?).

We're quite developped really, most of us had no intention of being a bunch of proletarians. We've got it all and it's growing, and if you don't quite get your fill, you can always find some place with some sausage.

Language: Duh. Polish. Some German and Russian, mainly as secondary languages.

That's about all, for now anyway.
Johnny: Hey! I hear bush forgot about Poland!
Ziggy:Yeah, but we voted nearly 60% against invading. Anyway, Bush's daughters are bunch of inbred-redneck devil worshipping alcoholoics, and the one that looks like daddy doesn't like sausage.
Johnny: I know. Goddamit! I knew we ought to eliminate taxes, annex Canada and join Europe to form one happy steak/burger/sausage-loving world and shit on non-believers.
Ziggy: Fuck yeah! Sausage!
Johnny: Looking up with his right hand patriotically over his heart: "Sau-sage..."
Johnny: "Burgers too man!"
Jan:"Hell yeah!!"
A place known as the best market for stolen cars from allover Europe.
Today stolen - tommorrow in Poland
by Andjey May 16, 2006
Poland, a country whose inhabitants claim it’s the best country in the world, if Poland is sooooo great, why is it since Poland joined the EU in 2004 experts believe anywhere between 500,000 to 2 million Polish people have left Poland with the majority moving to the UK?!?!? That tells me that there is something seriously wrong with Poland if so many people leave so quickly.
Contrary to popular belief, Polish or for that fact Eastern European women aren’t the most attractive in the world. They are no more or less attractive than those from West, North or Southern Europe.
Poland is so great.
How can it be if you want to leave so quickly?
by KillGore1 August 27, 2007
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