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1.
Last name of author Franz Kafka. Generally used as a noun to describe "that which has qualities similar to Kafka's litterature". But seeing as how that's kinda tautological, try this. Picture yourself in a small, cramped space. Add women with silk skirts and pillows attached to your head. Then add your father, run away and run into your lawyer who's daughter is a nurse whom you make love with on the floor of a court room that has no walls and where everybody is watching you as you writhe in ecstacy. Then comes the weird part. You find out that you're about to be executed for commiting a crime, but there's no tribunal, no judge, no witnesses, you're just to be executed. But the executioners take so long that you just decide to comply with the law and slash your wrists while eating some schnitzel. You finnally pass away and nobody realizes you're dead until 25 years after, at which point nobody cares about you still.
"Dude, Jimmy just pulled a Kafka"
"I don't know Jimmy, but make love to me anyways"
"I can't I must run now!"
by Jonathan Singh August 18, 2004
 
2.
one who has a keen sense of sight and smell and has a complete fascination with the male anatomy. Also loves going to the gym not for working out, but for the sweet stench of men. Man stench is the only thing that can truly keep a kafka's burning desire under control.

A kafka has the innate ability to quickly correct any problem faster than a normal man. However the kafka lacks the ability to keep a knife sharp enough to stab a person. This is one of the kafka's favortie activities.

A kafka has an obsession with dark colors and women. Also posseses a highly active sex-drive which helps him to produce many others like him.

Was made famous by the movie Congo
prisoner: This is pure kafka
Angry african guy: Whose Kafka tell me?!?!
by stewballs May 14, 2011
 
3.
The UGLIEST name you could possibly give to your dog, child, or any other thing in your life. It is so ugly that whoever is bestowed with this hideous name, will be destined to have a horrible life. And only to be ended by a horrible death. Kafka is a terrible name because it has many other meanings that people often overloook. It means things such as: - Horse porn - That white stuff that accumulates on the corners of your mouth when you get thirsty - An extremely deadly disease - What people from foreign countries run for their lives from - The fungus in between your toes - The eye boogers/crusties when you wake up in the morning. These are all ugly, nasty things that just prove that Kafka is not a name that should be used by anyone, unless that person wants to ruin a potential Kafka's life. If you run into a Kafka, turn around and run the opposite direction and never look back. If you are lucky enough to get away with your life, call an ambulance and stay where you are. Just from standing near a Kafka, you can contract cabs, Herpes and genital warts all at the same time. Be careful, and think twice before you name ANYTHING Kafka.
Person #1- I think I'm gonna name my dog Kafka! Isn't that cute?

Person #2- NO!! Don't do that! Do you want your dog to live and die horribly!?
by mrDANnovak June 17, 2011
 
4.
Noun. One who pretends to be literary or smart, but is in fact, not.
"Bob is not fooling anyone by going to poetry readings and jazz clubs. Everyone knows that he's just a Kafka."
by Sydney December 02, 2002