The Illuminati are the people who killed Kennedy, they are the people who print our dollars, they are the people who control our government and many others. The only governments they did not control in 2001 were: Iraq, Iran, and North Korea. If your memory serves you correct that is what Bush called the "Axis of Evil". So far they have taken out one and they want to move on Iran so they can get the oil. They want to create a one world government.
The Illuminati controls everything.
by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ June 19, 2010
A supposed secret organisation that coincidentally everyone knows about. When ignorant people refuse to believe common sense, conspiracies such as 9/11 and the JFK assassination are formed. The illuminati are (allegedly) controlling everything in the world and are responsible for the death of anyone famous such as Biggie, Bob Marley, Michael Jackon and the list goes on for eternity.

It's based upon a real organisation from 18th century europe. The rumours started around about the same time as the internet grew popular (late 90's) and may be the earliest evidence of trolling.

People who believe in these stories are very arrogant and refuse to listen to reasoning and evidence and hypocritically accuse anyone who doesn't agree with them of ignorance.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear the government made 9/11 happen with bombs and shit!?!?!

Person 2: Yeah and Jay-z killed Tupac!

Person 3: I heard they killed Amy Winehouse so people would forget about the norway bombings.

Person 4 (who uses common sense): You shouldn't believe everything you read off the internet, the illuminati isn't even real.

Persons 1-3: Stop being so ignorant!!!!!!
by The realest gamer October 27, 2011
a pathetic theory made up by losers who aren't content with the world. so they make up dumbass shit like the illuminati and tell people that they control the media and that they're brainwashing children but the only evidence they have is the dollar bill and a couple of shitty hollywood movies.

the people who believe in the illuminati are the same douches who think tupac is still alive. yeah i guess he lives with elvis and michael jackson.
- the illuminati is EVIL
- wtf?
- they turn into lizards!
- yep, you've lost it.
by charlyrafaeli July 07, 2011
they have a monopoly on everything so no matter what you support or oppose,they're already on top of it and behind it and pulling the strings,directing the outcome towards their evil satanic goals...
you can't win,the illuminati has already rigged everything
by totally bummed out October 29, 2005
An ancient secret brotherhood dedicated to fucking up the lives of paranoid people around the world
My psychiatrist prescribed Risperidone, but I suspect that this is just some sneaky Illuminati-plot to get rid of me, since I am heir to the throne of Denmark
by Baron Adeler June 29, 2011
A group of people who apparently want people to think they are really cool. They are constantly trying to gain public attention by paying high profile actors, music artists, and athletes to the flash group’s “secret” hand signs, one of which is identical to the Texas Longhorns hand sign, which they seem to have adopted as their own. This works out well as a sort of free advertisement because every time a Texas Longhorns fan flashes the sign in support of the team, others may think they are affiliated with or are in support of the Illuminati. The Illuminati has also associated itself with a lot of other commonplace shapes such as the triangle and star and numbers such as 3 and 6. This group makes sure that their symbols are placed in movies, as an extra insurance that everyone is well aware of their "secret" existence. Some have made claims that some members in this group have delusions and/or intentions of taking over the world.
Person 1- Hey, have you heard about the Illuminati? They are going to take over the world.
Person 2- Yeah, anyone who spends their money to influence Lady Gaga's music videos is obviously powerful enough to take over the world.
by limeade August 06, 2010
A large collective of many people, ideas, groups,etc, that are illuminated. They can range from the average homeless drifter, to the most powerful businessman or occultist. They are everywhere in society and are impossible to destroy or entirely get rid of. There is no main unifying factor and they may dispute things amongst themselves or even fight for supremacy over one another. Some are benevolent, some are malevolent, and some don't care either way.
The Illuminati is everywhere and all seeing.
by xDiscordianx November 06, 2009
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