Top Definition
A term used to poke fun at the faux predictions or lies that horoscope promises to folks who refuse to think logically and rationally.
Since his time-sharing company was folded up, Ken has been toying with the idea of setting up a horrorscope agency to advice or counsel those who have been conned by astrologers.
via giphy
by MathPlus October 13, 2016

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A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers April 28, 2011

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The name you call the min-cam they shove up your rectum to look for polyps if they forget to render you unconcious first. Also known as a keister-kam or the Silver Stallion.
I came up clean on my horrorscope exam last week...no cancer, but I did chew my tongue in half.
by Harry Flashman June 27, 2003

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An adjective applied to a project where there are so many unknowns that you may as well consult the stars for an estimate or timeline
We don't know anything about this work; the requirements are really unclear but the project seems huge. It's a horrorscope project
by hicksandhudson September 21, 2009

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An 'out of the box' description of the future of a person/situation, (generally bad) based on the obvious that isn't being seen from 'within the box'.
I didn't need to be Mystic Meg to tell you the fate that would befall Johnny when he married Jo..... it was written in his horrorscope.
by MissCC August 21, 2008

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what might happen when comopletely believing in all the predictions.
"im sooooo frikin uninspired"

"check out your horrorscope and see whats gonna happen" "maybe youll meet your soul mate soon"

*checks hororscope*

"im gonna meet the love of my life in 3 days!!!! AND win the lottery!!!!!"

*4 days later*

"breaks up with bf and gets in car accident."
by NiiceGuy September 04, 2008

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