1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A person who's both useless, and a major pain in the
ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "
asshole," because an
asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes pain for no reason.
1) I can't sit at all due to this
golf-ball of a hemorrhoid in my
ass.
2)
Jeff is just a total hemorrhoid, that useless shitsack of a dickweed.