GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard
Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.
Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?
Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.
Tim: Sorry bro.
Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.
Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?
Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.
Tim: Sorry bro.
Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020
Get the Goontardmug. by Shannon (CREAM) November 04, 2006
Get the Goontardmug. Usually defines someone who has no physical impairment, but acts like a mental impairment exists or extreme gylcemic spike causing someone to spaz out.
by NotYourShelia December 31, 2014
Get the Goontardmug. by Jeremy H October 27, 2005
Get the goontardmug. A man addicted to porn on severe level and starts losing brain cells. He wakes up and goons for approximately 14 hours a day.
by d6ree November 06, 2023
Get the goontardmug. by Goontard69 December 26, 2024
Get the Goontardmug. An individual who does nothing but masturbate and the only thing they think about and discuss is sexual subjects.
by Diddy's 23rd Tooth July 30, 2025
Get the Goontardmug.